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What would you ask the AP?

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Nicnac posted 8/24/2013 13:17 PM

Given the chance, and assuming that the AP would be completely honest, what would you ask?

Girlietoo posted 8/24/2013 13:24 PM

Did you ever think about me?
Did you ever worry you would get caught?

Ascendant posted 8/24/2013 13:34 PM

"Why haven't you stepped out into fast-moving traffic yet?"
"No one likes you, your parents don't even love you and the world would be a better place without you in it, so why haven't you offed yourself yet?"

dovetool posted 8/24/2013 13:37 PM

Interesting. I've been thinking about calling the OW and asking her to meet up and talk to me.

Probably ask for some details about the affair that my WH may have left out. Like did he buy her anything, did they ever go out of town, confirm the start and end date.

Ask her how she felt when she divorced her husband to be with him and he couldnt do the same? Then point and laugh and punch her in the face. Maybe not the last part but it feels good in my head.

dovetool posted 8/24/2013 13:38 PM

FacePunched... may have to add some of that too

womaninflux posted 8/24/2013 13:53 PM

Why should I not tell your boss about this?

Are you a sex/love addict too?

Was he a selfish jerk to you, too?

So...you don't want to be a break up the home of two innocent kids who have done NOTHING to you, nothing to deserve the stress this has brought to the very home you did not want to wreck.

Jrazz posted 8/24/2013 13:58 PM

I thought about this for a sec, and then I realized that I would have nothing to say to her. Not now.

If you had asked me this just after DDay I would have had SO many questions I was dying to ask.

Now, I'm not even compelled to give her a piece of my mind. Ahhh what a difference a few years make.

Uhtred posted 8/24/2013 14:36 PM

I had a chance to ask my wife's AP face to face. I asked why he was a weak coward who cheated on his wife and was a destroyer of families. How could he shake my hand and smile as if we were friends and do this with my wife behind my back. I asked him if he thought he was a tough guy now? That question came from an intercepted text between my WW and him when he asked what would happen if I found out. He apparently thought he was a chivalrous man and would defend my wife's "Not intact Honor" against me. I found that one to be hilarious. Its funny what cheaters come out and say between there selves. By the way I didn't get an answer, only a stare at the ground while I watched his wife brow beat him and give him medical attention all at the same time.

confused615 posted 8/24/2013 14:43 PM

"Any last words?"


Just kidding. I have nothing to say to the AP.

Uhtred posted 8/24/2013 15:23 PM

Good one!

Girlietoo posted 8/24/2013 15:30 PM

I spoke to the OW on Dday, when I saw the text messages. Then a few days afterwards. She was very honest with me, naive and very immature. In fact, I really wanted to hate her but my true self would only allow me to comfort her. I couldn't help but mother her.

For a while after I regretted not losing my shit on her but I think I killed her with kindness instead.

I did send her nasty FB messages later that made me feel a little better for a short time. In the end I feel good about being decent because it spelled out clearly what as asshole my husband was to cheat on me.

Lalagirl posted 8/24/2013 17:10 PM

"Any last words?"

YES!

And "does that rearranged face hurt much?" (No, I never hit OW...just a fantasy.)

JustWow posted 8/24/2013 19:14 PM

H's FOW called me, presumably to apologize.

I told her she was wasting my cell minutes.

I hung up.

I really could not be less interested in anything that might fall out of her mouth.

Traveler1985 posted 8/24/2013 19:20 PM

I would only ask them how they can sleep at night. Especially because they both knew my WH was with me.

I have called them both out and told them everything I wanted to say.

I just don't understand how anyone could knowingly inflict such damage and torment on someone who has done nothing to hurt them.

I have a feeling in my case that the OW got a feeling of 'power' knowing that I would eventually be hurt by their actions.

I am a peaceful person, but I want to know how they sleep at night, knowing what they've done to other people.

kernel posted 8/24/2013 19:30 PM

Nothing she has to say will ever be of interest to me.

RidingHealingRd posted 8/24/2013 22:27 PM

I would not ask her a thing. She isn't worth the carbon dioxide expelled in addressing her.

Happydays posted 8/24/2013 23:12 PM

AP in my case had:
1) paralysed a female due to an abrupt breakup.
2) had a GF who still writes poems about him in local newspapers.
3) had a bad accident that put him in a coma for 3 days and rods in his arm and leg.
4) persued a married woman in his office, but she was lucky to join her husband overseas before she could be destroyed by his charms.
5) mesmerised my exW in my absence.

What you think I have to ask such a seasoned campaigner ?

I have a lot of questions for God though. Something to the effect of " I have nothing against you God, it's your fan club I can't stand".

I lost my child's company, and he posted his picture on FB with his child ( my friends told me) I don't bother to follow him.

I have nothing to say.....

Nature_Girl posted 8/24/2013 23:37 PM

How much cash money did he give you?
How much was the total value of the gifts he gave you, including hotel rooms & dinners out?
Did you know he is/was married?
Do you know that your dalliance with him is what finally broke our marriage?
Considering that you claimed family was very important to you on your Prison Pen Pal dating profile, how do you feel about the fact that you helped destroy the family of three children and an innocent wife?
Did you know that he kept dozens, maybe hundreds, of photos of you and other women blowing him & other sexual activity where the kids could find them?
How do you feel about the fact that me & many others have seen these photos?
Are you planning to marry him?
Are you still involved with drugs?
Do you drink?
Do you swear around children?
What kind of a stepmother are you prepared to be of little kids?
What is your religious orientation?
What other convictions do you have?
How long is your parole?
Are any of the people in your life child molesters or sexual deviants like STBX?
Are any of the people in your life involved with drugs, alcohol abuse, or engaged in criminal activity?
Are you a prostitute too?
What is your driving record like?
What kind of music are you going to be playing around my children?
What kind of movies & TV shows are you going to let my kids watch?
What kind of safety measures will you be taking to keep my children safe when they are around you?

ETA: You do realize that STBX is dating you in order to get access to your daughter, right? She's young like he likes, she has long hair that's black like he likes. It's not you he's after, it's her. Keep her safe.

[This message edited by Nature_Girl at 11:41 PM, August 24th (Saturday)]

3monthsncounting posted 8/24/2013 23:37 PM

I asked her for a better time line as to when they got together. She never answered. She did tell my WH that I scared her. Apparently being completely polite to her scared the crap out of her.

my WH even saw the messages I sent her, he agreed that I had said nothing worth her being scared.

Alexa posted 8/25/2013 00:06 AM

I don't think I would ask her anything but I would tell her that God is punishing her to a life without children because she is fucking another woman's husband. She is currently going through a "medical procedure" so she can have a baby with the husband she is cheating on. Guess which guy paid for the medicine to get her knocked up?Clue: not the one she's married to.

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