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Is this how it begins?

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traildad posted 8/24/2013 17:10 PM

On a sunny, late Saturday afternoon in the checkout lane? With a cart full of groceries and school supplies? With two boys, seven and four years old, begging for candy?

She looked good, still in her workout clothes, looking like she came straight from the gym. Cart full of food fit for a family. She breaks the ice, noting that there is no divider for the orders. We make strong, yet nervous eye contact, she jokes about being able to relate to my situation with the kids. She mentions that she has three of her own, all under seven. I glance quickly, no wedding band. I ask if grocery shopping is a nice breather for her, she responds that they are with their dad for the weekend. I note that I, too, am a single parent. More eye contact while she bags her groceries. My heart pumping faster and faster, while I mindlessly place my groceries on the belt.

I know I can't blow this chance, I have to get her number, but time is running short as she swipes her credit card. I have never asked a woman out like this before, a complete stranger, in public, in front of the cashier and other customers. Ever. But I am not about to let this become a missed connection, one of those moments you regret the second it passes. I read a story the other day, it reminded me that the only moment you really have is NOW. So I just say it, "would it be ok if I called you sometime?" Whew, I said it. It was almost like I wasn't even in my own body.

She says yes! As she finishes putting her bags in her cart I grab my phone to program her number, hands shaking. She halfway apologizes for not looking good, that she just came from the gym, seemingly surprised that someone would ask her out in such condition (I find her to be beautiful). She is fumbling around in her purse, at first I think it is related to her transaction, then I realize she is nervously fumbling for a pen and paper. We are both nervous. She notices that I am going to program her number, she says the digits, then nervously repeats her name, and spelling. One more glance, a quick goodbye, and back to groceries and fighting boys...

I dated a bit over the summer, started to get a feeling for what I was and wasn't looking for. Just online dating. Nothing turned serious. I realized that it was most likely a woman with kids that I was looking for. In the past few weeks I had become very content with being single, focusing on being the best parent and man I could be. I had developed a pretty firm picture of what I was looking for in a woman, but I wasn't going to worry about it. I am moving to a new home in a few months (that will be a different NB post). School starts for the kids in a week. Enough to think about. And then this...

So, I have never been in this situation before. How soon do I call/text? Is it different rules for busy single parents? The whole three day rule, etc.?

Thank you if you read this far. I know it is lengthy, but I enjoy writing and painting a picture with words. Also, I have been through enough that you never know what tomorrow will bring, so just enjoy this moment for what it is. Even if I never speak with this woman again...

[This message edited by traildad at 5:13 PM, August 24th (Saturday)]

cayc posted 8/24/2013 18:03 PM

So sweet and swoon worthy! So brave!

Call her tomorrow, late afternoon.

kernel posted 8/24/2013 18:39 PM

I agree with cayc. And good luck!

Williesmom posted 8/24/2013 19:11 PM

Swooning here. You're giving me hope that it could happen.

damncutekitty posted 8/24/2013 20:13 PM

She looked good, still in her workout clothes, looking like she came straight from the gym.

I wish I looked good after the gym. Mostly I look sweaty.

traildad posted 8/24/2013 20:26 PM

I wish I looked good after the gym. Mostly I look sweaty.

Maybe I am not like most guys, but I think women look better the more natural they are. Sweaty, ponytail, sweatshirts, no makeup, etc. I know many guys that feel the same way.

Chrysalis123 posted 8/24/2013 20:30 PM

Oh my goodness.....your post made me smile.

And gave me hope....

cmego posted 8/24/2013 20:55 PM

Oh...I hope for a story like this one day ...except I never think a man would approach while I have my kids.

I'd send a text tomorrow asking when a good time to call might be.

monarchwings posted 8/24/2013 21:12 PM

I dont know but I sure hope so because its a great story. Good luck I truly hope the conversation goes well for you both.

soveryweary posted 8/24/2013 21:49 PM

Loved reading this trail dad.
Please keep us posted.

persevere posted 8/24/2013 21:58 PM

This is the post of the weekend for me - great story traildad - definitely agree with cayc - call her tomorrow afternoon. If custody arrangement is typical, that will be before her kids get home.

wildbananas posted 8/25/2013 01:14 AM

Awesome! And I think it's very considerate to text to ask when would be a good time to call, especially since she has young'uns of her own.

Good luck!

SBB posted 8/25/2013 03:59 AM

This made me smile.

Although 3+3 <7 kinda scares me witless...

Vulcanized posted 8/25/2013 04:08 AM

I'ma agree w/ just call her tomorrow. All the 'rules' of calling, etc. are sorta hokey, in my book. Good Luck!!!

ButterflyGirl posted 8/25/2013 05:19 AM

Who the heck came up with a 3-day rule?? By that time, I've lost all my giddiness and will figure it's time for me to forget the guy as he obvious wasn't very interested.

I do think there's a fine line between overly desperate and too aloof, so just do what feels natural. A quick text tomorrow asking when a good time to chat is sounds perfect.

And it's definitely swoon worthy. So instead of worrying about online dating, speed dating, or blind dates from my friends, I can just do my thing? Head to the gym, grab some healthy groceries on the way home, and possibly meet a great guy? Awww, now THAT'S how it's supposed to be

Good luck!!

newnormal posted 8/25/2013 06:57 AM


Your my hero for thinking and acting on the fly. And role model - next time I'm at the grocery store its heads up and be aware of the surrounding people.

risingfromashes posted 8/25/2013 07:32 AM

Wow! Call her! What a great post. Gives me hope that I don't have to resort to OLD when the time comes to start dating again.

fraeuken posted 8/25/2013 09:50 AM

Call her! 3 day rule? Forget it. Give it 24 hours and then call her, maybe too late to still go out but early enough to show that you have an interest.

As a woman and a hopeless romantic I have to say, I always dreamed of something like this. A chance encounter where you can feel the chemistry and where there is that potential of something wonderful. Go for it!

movingforward13 posted 8/25/2013 10:00 AM

Please don't wait three days. Awesome story, I hope this is how it begins!

pjkmkjm23 posted 8/25/2013 10:20 AM

Maybe I am not like most guys, but I think women look better the more natural they are. Sweaty, ponytail, sweatshirts, no makeup, etc. I know many guys that feel the same way.

Go Traildad!!!

(I'm also like you...I way more prefer relaxed and natural! I actually think women in somewhat loose fitting track pants are incredibly sexy too!! lol....tmi?!)

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