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Newest Member: Herself (45715)

User Topic: Is this how it begins?
traildad
♂ 35258
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 5:10 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

On a sunny, late Saturday afternoon in the checkout lane? With a cart full of groceries and school supplies? With two boys, seven and four years old, begging for candy?

She looked good, still in her workout clothes, looking like she came straight from the gym. Cart full of food fit for a family. She breaks the ice, noting that there is no divider for the orders. We make strong, yet nervous eye contact, she jokes about being able to relate to my situation with the kids. She mentions that she has three of her own, all under seven. I glance quickly, no wedding band. I ask if grocery shopping is a nice breather for her, she responds that they are with their dad for the weekend. I note that I, too, am a single parent. More eye contact while she bags her groceries. My heart pumping faster and faster, while I mindlessly place my groceries on the belt.

I know I can't blow this chance, I have to get her number, but time is running short as she swipes her credit card. I have never asked a woman out like this before, a complete stranger, in public, in front of the cashier and other customers. Ever. But I am not about to let this become a missed connection, one of those moments you regret the second it passes. I read a story the other day, it reminded me that the only moment you really have is NOW. So I just say it, "would it be ok if I called you sometime?" Whew, I said it. It was almost like I wasn't even in my own body.

She says yes! As she finishes putting her bags in her cart I grab my phone to program her number, hands shaking. She halfway apologizes for not looking good, that she just came from the gym, seemingly surprised that someone would ask her out in such condition (I find her to be beautiful). She is fumbling around in her purse, at first I think it is related to her transaction, then I realize she is nervously fumbling for a pen and paper. We are both nervous. She notices that I am going to program her number, she says the digits, then nervously repeats her name, and spelling. One more glance, a quick goodbye, and back to groceries and fighting boys...

I dated a bit over the summer, started to get a feeling for what I was and wasn't looking for. Just online dating. Nothing turned serious. I realized that it was most likely a woman with kids that I was looking for. In the past few weeks I had become very content with being single, focusing on being the best parent and man I could be. I had developed a pretty firm picture of what I was looking for in a woman, but I wasn't going to worry about it. I am moving to a new home in a few months (that will be a different NB post). School starts for the kids in a week. Enough to think about. And then this...

So, I have never been in this situation before. How soon do I call/text? Is it different rules for busy single parents? The whole three day rule, etc.?

Thank you if you read this far. I know it is lengthy, but I enjoy writing and painting a picture with words. Also, I have been through enough that you never know what tomorrow will bring, so just enjoy this moment for what it is. Even if I never speak with this woman again...

[This message edited by traildad at 5:13 PM, August 24th (Saturday)]


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
cayc
♀ 21964
Member # 21964
Default  Posted: 6:03 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So sweet and swoon worthy! So brave!

Call her tomorrow, late afternoon.


"I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship." - Louisa May Alcott

Posts: 3144 | Registered: Dec 2008 | From: Mexico
kernel
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 6:39 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I agree with cayc. And good luck!


"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5336 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
Williesmom
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 7:11 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Swooning here. You're giving me hope that it could happen.


You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 7814 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
damncutekitty
♀ 5929
Member # 5929
Default  Posted: 8:13 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She looked good, still in her workout clothes, looking like she came straight from the gym.

I wish I looked good after the gym. Mostly I look sweaty.


Keep calm and carry on.

Posts: 49482 | Registered: Nov 2004 | From: Minneapolis
traildad
♂ 35258
Member # 35258
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I wish I looked good after the gym. Mostly I look sweaty.

Maybe I am not like most guys, but I think women look better the more natural they are. Sweaty, ponytail, sweatshirts, no makeup, etc. I know many guys that feel the same way.


Me BH - 33
3 beautiful young children
DDay 12/13/11
Divorced.

Posts: 650 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Michigan
Chrysalis123
♀ 27148
Member # 27148
Default  Posted: 8:30 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my goodness.....your post made me smile.

And gave me hope....


Donít get to the end of your life and find that you lived only the length of it; live the width of it as well.†

Posts: 2770 | Registered: Jan 2010
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 8:55 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh...I hope for a story like this one day ...except I never think a man would approach while I have my kids.

I'd send a text tomorrow asking when a good time to call might be.


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4215 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
monarchwings
♀ 39891
Member # 39891
Default  Posted: 9:12 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I dont know but I sure hope so because its a great story. Good luck I truly hope the conversation goes well for you both.

Posts: 116 | Registered: Jul 2013
soveryweary
♀ 32265
Member # 32265
Default  Posted: 9:49 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Loved reading this trail dad.
Please keep us posted.


Divorced 1/3/14

Posts: 628 | Registered: May 2011
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:58 PM, August 24th (Saturday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is the post of the weekend for me - great story traildad - definitely agree with cayc - call her tomorrow afternoon. If custody arrangement is typical, that will be before her kids get home.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4668 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
wildbananas
♀ 10552
Member # 10552
Default  Posted: 1:14 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome! And I think it's very considerate to text to ask when would be a good time to call, especially since she has young'uns of her own.

Good luck!


Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

Posts: 15433 | Registered: Apr 2006 | From: Now an AZ girl
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 3:59 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This made me smile.

Although 3+3 <7 kinda scares me witless...


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5653 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
Vulcanized
♀ 33523
Member # 33523
Default  Posted: 4:08 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'ma agree w/ just call her tomorrow. All the 'rules' of calling, etc. are sorta hokey, in my book. Good Luck!!!


Me: MH 40s; Him: MH 40s (I had RA)
OW: 30s, moron; one of many
M: 8 yrs
3/13: D'd
-----------------------------------------------------------
Everything is as it should be.

Posts: 773 | Registered: Oct 2011 | From: Vulcania
ButterflyGirl
♀ 38377
Member # 38377
Default  Posted: 5:19 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Who the heck came up with a 3-day rule?? By that time, I've lost all my giddiness and will figure it's time for me to forget the guy as he obvious wasn't very interested.

I do think there's a fine line between overly desperate and too aloof, so just do what feels natural. A quick text tomorrow asking when a good time to chat is sounds perfect.

And it's definitely swoon worthy. So instead of worrying about online dating, speed dating, or blind dates from my friends, I can just do my thing? Head to the gym, grab some healthy groceries on the way home, and possibly meet a great guy? Awww, now THAT'S how it's supposed to be

Good luck!!


xBW~ 35
Two DS~ 7-Eleven
"I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know." ~ asurvivor

Posts: 2637 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: Florida, USA
newnormal
♀ 21925
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 6:57 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Squeeeee!

Your my hero for thinking and acting on the fly. And role model - next time I'm at the grocery store its heads up and be aware of the surrounding people.


BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo


Posts: 1033 | Registered: Dec 2008
risingfromashes
♀ 3903
Member # 3903
Default  Posted: 7:32 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Wow! Call her! What a great post. Gives me hope that I don't have to resort to OLD when the time comes to start dating again.


There is a wonderful life on the other side of hell.

Posts: 1709 | Registered: Mar 2004
fraeuken
♀ 30742
Member # 30742
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Call her! 3 day rule? Forget it. Give it 24 hours and then call her, maybe too late to still go out but early enough to show that you have an interest.

As a woman and a hopeless romantic I have to say, I always dreamed of something like this. A chance encounter where you can feel the chemistry and where there is that potential of something wonderful. Go for it!


Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.

Posts: 1260 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: California
movingforward13
♀ 38405
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 10:00 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Please don't wait three days. Awesome story, I hope this is how it begins!


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 643 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
pjkmkjm23
♂ 35778
Member # 35778
Default  Posted: 10:20 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Maybe I am not like most guys, but I think women look better the more natural they are. Sweaty, ponytail, sweatshirts, no makeup, etc. I know many guys that feel the same way.

Go Traildad!!!

(I'm also like you...I way more prefer relaxed and natural! I actually think women in somewhat loose fitting track pants are incredibly sexy too!! lol....tmi?!)


Posts: 305 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Canada
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