In R since shortly after DD.
I know how you feel, and I think it's a normal thing. A protective measure.
I felt the same. I was ready to walk if I needed to.
We are 3 yrs, 1 month, out from DD of his 4 year A with a MOW. Yikes!
Although I love him, the ironic thing is that I'm just feeling like I can be "in love" with him again. But just barely. He has also worked very hard to earn that.
Earlier, like you are now, into R just a few months, I told him that wasn't it sad that now I felt ILYBINILWY. It made him so sad. I also told him, and I still feel this way, that I had one foot in the door and one out. I felt that way for my heart & soul's protection. I also meant it.
Sounds like where you are now. And that's OK. It's a normal way for you to protect yourself until you are sure of him. You are in R, but you are in no way required to trust unconditionally or even be near healed yet. We all have our own time schedule, and I'm still working on mine. Some are fully R by now. There is no right answer, it's our own.
Sometimes, you just need your own head to work through your feelings and how you want and need to either move forward or on if that's the case.
I think we also reach a point of no feelings for a bit, and it's very scary, for both of you. I know it scared me very much. I believe it's referred to as lethal flatness. And that's a good description. It terrified my FWH when I went through it.
This is a long road, I wish you much luck and peace as you navigate it. Keep asking questions.
Discovered what was right in front of him and nearly lost.
Always, tell the other BS! Always!
"It's hard to be in love when you can't tell lies"!