Here's another aspect to think about. Finding out about the A puts us in PTSD mode. That was last year after your last baby. While you would have been coping and surviving the A, you got pregnant, taking you off course. What you thought had been your real life wasn't.
I think what your feeling is another reminder of DDay. And it does make you feel all the same feelings and thoughts. You never had a chance to really grieve, get angry, even think. You had your children, your pregnancy, your new babies to keep you busy instead.
Now, the scene looks the same, so you're reminded of it all and in numb protective mode.
So with all that said, I am 2 1/2 yrs. out and am still affected by xwf's A in a different way, that showed up only 2 months ago and has stayed. It's very stressful and isolating.
And I agree, the "Plain of lethal flatness" can also play a part.
Keep drinking, eating, taking care of yourself to get the hormones and your health straight, cuz the babies need you and it will all help in the long run.
My best with hugs.
[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 11:28 AM, August 25th (Sunday)]