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Newest Member: Nala87 (61091)

User Topic: Anxiety over losing him
♀ 40359
Member # 40359
Default  Posted: 7:12 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I woke up very early this morning. H has been gone for 9 weeks and I jfo about his EA 1 week ago. He took the kids last night to sleep at his parents.
I woke up with so much pain and anxiety. I cracked and called him. 2 days of 180 down the drain. I wish I could make him fight for me and our family. He says he isn't ok with all of this but that he just wasnt happy with us and doesn't feel the same way.

He even goes as far as saying I treated him like crap for a while. Umm ok taking care if your house and kids while you start a business is treating you like crap? Ok buddy. The fact that I have been left found out I was cheated on and then told I am still not good enough to fight for but yet I would still fight for our marriage because I know what we were and could be again is... That is called unconditional love.

How do I move on? I want him to realize he didnt give us a chance and start begging to come home....

XWH left 6/2013
DDay 8/19/2013
Divorce final 7/14/2014
False reconciliation 6/15-8/15
DDay 2 8/29/15

Posts: 178 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 40330
Member # 40330
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know exactly how you are feeling! Unfortunately all we can do is wait, and try to move forward best we can. It is incredibly rough, I do believe our timelines are very similar. Today was day 7 of 180 and I cracked. I am not sure quite yet, that it was worth it.

Take it one day at at time, and when that gets to be too much, you break it down to the hours or minutes of the day.

I started working out, and trying to eat healthier. With just a week, it has made a difference. I also try to set three goals for the day, whether that is to go through my daughters clothes, or do a craft project or what have you. It helps keep my mind busy, which helps the time go by a bit faster. The second I have a still moment the minutes turn to days.

You will get through this!

DD 1: PA 12/4/09 He spent 2.5 years with OW1
R: 8/31/2012
DD 2: EA 8/16/13
BS: 26
WH: 25
1 young daughter.
Terribly disgusted. He refuses to give up his "friend". Headed towards D.

Posts: 138 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: kentucky
♀ 40306
Member # 40306
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yeah- I suck at the 180. I just start over as often as necessary and try to improve.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

Posts: 5592 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 31765
Member # 31765
Default  Posted: 10:33 AM, August 25th (Sunday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Just a thought Eye, I think it would add to anxiety feelings, for the kids to be away at his parents only one week after DD. You were left alone, and in my eyes it's not kind to be left alone so soon. Your kids are a wonderful attachment to what little "normal" you can get right now and those bonding feelings can help enormously thru all this, especially so early in this process. You will need all kinds of this to help you heal. It will take this and more.

Just a thought.


[This message edited by Thinkingtoomuch at 10:35 AM, August 25th (Sunday)]

Posts: 882 | Registered: Apr 2011
Topic Posts: 4

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