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Divorce/Separation :
Update

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 militarymech (original poster member #33362) posted at 4:38 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Hey all,

Its been a while and I thought I'd stop by and update you on whats happened.

The divorce was finalized in December of 2012 (I have full physical custody of the three boys) and the ex had a garnishment order for $150/wk in CS and $65/wk to pay back all the money she owes me.... She got fired the day before Christmas and I only got one payment of $16.75 (her last little bit of PTO).

Back in April, she filed a petition to have her child support obligation reduced to $0 because she was "unable" to find work.

I countered with a petition to have her found in contempt (for the 3rd time) for failing to pay CS.

Now she is living in a multi-Million dollar condo on lake Michigan in Chicago. After threatening to drag her lover into court to testify, we finally got financial info out of her. The condo costs the lover $17,000/mo!!!!!

Now this is important. She's not working, but because she is living with her lover, half of that cost for the condo can be considered "imputed income". Its like the lover is giving her money to pay her half of the mortgage and expenses.... That would go directly on the balance sheet as income!

She is claiming she is unable to find work (she is a LPN) in Chicago, yet she failed to get an Illinois license when she left the state of Indiana.....

Part of my petition was to have the CS amount raised based on what she should be making as a LPN (I was nice and under valued her income in the initial divorce settlement) plus the imputed income.... I was asking for the CS to go from $150/wk to >$400/wk!!!!

So last month (July) I received two payments of $300 from her.... supposedly she is back to work, but has failed to submit her garnishment order to her employer... I think she was just trying to make herself look good at the last minuet.

So we had court the other day and she shows up wearing an outfit that probably cost more than all the clothes in my closet combined.

The lawyers made their cases and the Judge made his ruling....

He tossed out her petition an found her in contempt!!!!! 30 DAYS IN JAIL!!!!! Now the sentence is suspended so she has a chance to make good and start paying (all the back support has been tacked onto the 2nd garnishment amount). If she doesn't, he said he would drag her in, find her in contempt again and give her another 30 days and would send her directly to jail from the court room!

The judge was PISSED!!!!! He said that if the roles were reversed she would be yelling and screaming about me being a "dead beat dad". He didn't increase the CS, but I think that's because he was so angry at her, he didn't want to make a bad decision about it.

So we will see what happens.

D-Day: 9/11/11 - 11 years, 9 months and 8 days after we met and fell in love.
The Worst Day of my life: 10/15/11. The Day I hurt the one who ripped my heart out

posts: 314   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Chicagoland
id 6462358
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momentintime ( member #16394) posted at 4:43 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Hopefully, she will get the message she has obligations she can't duck. Glad it is working out for you. Thanks for the update.

BS-me FWS - him
D-day 8/04
R'd

"Global editing disclaimer - I edit almost everything I post, and I am not going to post why every time."...re: Bionical girl

posts: 3163   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2007   ·   location: New York
id 6462363
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 4:47 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Heartwarming. Thanks for the update!

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6462368
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hexed ( member #19258) posted at 5:24 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

nice to hear from you. hope all the areas of your life are going that well

But that's just a lot of water
Underneath a bridge I burned
And there's no use in backtracking
Around corners I have turned

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.” -foulton oursler

posts: 9609   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2008
id 6462404
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Take2 ( member #23890) posted at 5:27 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Remembering all the stress of the unknown of going to court - (and having read some very unfair outcomes) - this just makes me smile!

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Joseph Campbell...So, If fear was not a factor - what would you do?

posts: 4432   ·   registered: May. 6th, 2009   ·   location: New England
id 6462407
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cayc ( member #21964) posted at 5:28 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Thank you for the update. I'm glad you are getting the vindication/validation that you deserve.

I hope your boys are doing well. They are lucky to have you as their dad.

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Mexico
id 6462410
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 5:36 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Thank you so much for sharing your update! It was so nice to read about a fair court outcome. All this time, I thought it was a myth . I hope you and your boys are well!

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6462415
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 5:47 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Hallelujah!!

What has this cost you in legal fees? Can you go for costs too?

That is absolutely outrageous. What parent would live in a $17k p/m condo and NOT support their own children? I cannot even comprehend that.

I want to say I love that judge but TBH he just did the right thing. It is a shame that the contempt has to be this blatant for the right thing to be done.

I hope outside of all of this mess you and your boys are doing well. I can just imagine what a stressful time you've had throughout all of this.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6462424
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 militarymech (original poster member #33362) posted at 6:32 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Oh, I forgot to mention the legal fee's. We asked for her to pay 100%, but the judge only made her pay 50%.... hey, better than 0%!!!!!

The cost for this round was just at $4k. My lawyer is a GREAT GUY. He stopped charging me interest because I am making large payments every payday. I owe him A TON, and I don't mean just money. He worked his butt off to get this taken care of.

He made me play "the long game" and give her rope to hang herself. And she did.

I'm hoping to have most of my debts paid off with this years tax return.

If schmucko would actually pay her CS, I would be OK. I just put in 20Hrs of OT this week, and will probably do the same next week.

Every Payday, Im Paying $150 to my lawyer and $175 to her truck that got repossessed ($9500 left on that!!!! )

Plus the $200 for the kids tuition..... Its a lot!!!!!

Thank God for family

I'm also living proof that the lord takes care of Drunks and Fools (I qualify on both accounts )

D-Day: 9/11/11 - 11 years, 9 months and 8 days after we met and fell in love.
The Worst Day of my life: 10/15/11. The Day I hurt the one who ripped my heart out

posts: 314   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Chicagoland
id 6462450
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kernel ( member #27035) posted at 6:39 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Terrific post! It's always good to hear about idiots that don't support their kids getting what they deserve. I gotta say I'm hoping she ends up serving some jail time.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6462460
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LifeIsBroken ( member #27071) posted at 7:37 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Wouldn't it be lovely if all judges acted this responsibly ? ! Good for you !

D-Day: 8/28/2009
BW: 59 @ D-Day XH: 60 @ D-Day Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
Beyond terror is freedom. (Agnes Martin)

posts: 1242   ·   registered: Jan. 5th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6462513
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Dark Inertia ( member #30727) posted at 8:03 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Wow, I love your updates! Good for you. Question; does she ever see or call the children? How are they handling everything?

posts: 1842   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2011   ·   location: The Ohio
id 6462537
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IrishLass518 ( member #34373) posted at 8:20 PM on Sunday, August 25th, 2013

Congrats MilitaryMech, so glad to hear from you again and with such a great update

Me: 46 BS Divorced
Him: 45 Married OW
DDay: 07/04/2008
Divorced: 06/15/2011
5 kids: IrishLass 27,IrishLad 25, IrishLass 23, IrishLad 21 and IrishLad 12
"You can't run from trouble..there ain't no place that far"

posts: 1858   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: WA
id 6462551
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 militarymech (original poster member #33362) posted at 1:09 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013

Does she see the kids?

She has seen them twice all summer for two hours each time. All she ever does is pick them up and take them for pizza and then go buy them something.

D-Day: 9/11/11 - 11 years, 9 months and 8 days after we met and fell in love.
The Worst Day of my life: 10/15/11. The Day I hurt the one who ripped my heart out

posts: 314   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2011   ·   location: Chicagoland
id 6462780
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