SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey all,

If you read my other post, you will see that I might actually start to receive the payments that the EX is supposed to make.

How do you all handle the payments that your ex's make to you?

I went and opened a second checking account specifically for her payments to me. That way I can have a record of everything that comes in and I will only pay for stuff that is related to the kids out of that account, like tuition, books, uniforms, clothes.....

I'm positive she is going to try and pull the "he's not spending the money on the kids" card. I want to cover my butt and be able to slap her down in court if and when she tries.

What strategies have you used?

TIA all!!!

When I was separated and receiving child support, I had no strategies. Once it hits your hand, or you bank account it is yours. Whether it pays utilities, housing, food. At the end of the day it's all for the kids.

I would like to keep track of this thread though, for future reference, as I may have been doing it all wrong!

Talk to your L but I'd say mixedintherut is correct.

X can try to pull whatever crap she likes - she won't have a leg to stand on.

It sounds like a whole bunch of unnecessary work to me. If you needed to you could quite easily account for all of the expenditure and the some.

Separating it could actually harm you if she does try to pull something because it will either show a surplus because you spend your other money on the kids (see, he doesn't need that much!) OR it is in deficit and you're supplementing from your own money (see, he doesn't need more CS because he can afford it himself!!).

So if her income increases dramatically or if yours decreases dramatically she has proof that you didn't really 'need' that much CS.

Never mind that you don't know if she'll only pay for few months or years and then go deadbeat again. The relationship with this guy will fizzle and she'll purposefully not work just to avoid CS. Maybe she'll end up supporting the next guy and his 4 kids by 4 different women.

Who knows? See where I'm going here?

IMHO it also gives her too much free real-estate in your head. The court has ruled ed that she is to pay you $X. The court has not ruled that you need to account for every cent NOR that every cent ONLY be spent directly on the kids. There are lots of indirect expenses too.

It is not her money. It is CS she has been ordered to pay you. It is your money.

Child support is for shelter, clothes, and food. Tuition, books, uniforms, uncovered medical expenses, etc are separate. I just put it into my account ~ From what I have read, CS rarely actually covers half of what it costs to raise a child/children. In my case, this is true. Although STBX likes to think he is being sooo generous, when I actually broke down the numbers, it's doesn't cover half of the basic needs.

CS will be garnished and put in my normal checking account. I can use Quicken if I have to print out a report.

CS goes into my regular account, too. Since the bank stopped printing paper statements, I do it myself and then cross check myself.

I tend to keep things like for receipts for a time, but haven't been asked for any right now.

Yes, what's been explained to me by several lawyers is as they say on your thread, MM. It's to cover expenses for your children and then things like medical things come under another area.

It's really hit me in the head full blast and has me paying attention in ways that I never did before. To money and value, certainly, but also there are things like even recycling that have changed how I buy things, because I have to get it back out again-no one else will.

I haven't heard of anyone being able to ask for an accounting of CS money spent, either...and the only thing I can think of is if it's something shared between you.