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X is bring the OW and her girls around

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Survivor3512 posted 8/25/2013 14:57 PM

I knew it was coming, but it has still knocked me for a loop. XH has started bring the OW and her girls around our kids. My oldest has mentioned it a few times. He doesn't know his dad had an affair or that it was with this woman. It feels like I'm being punched in the gut whenever he mentions it, but I just smile and nod and tell him that I'm glad he has a good time with them. It's been over a year since Dday and 8 months since D was final. It doesn't help that I am alone- I think how is this fair? After what they did, they get the happily ever after??? I know in my brain that's not the case, but when I hear about them spending the day with my boys, I feel like it crushes me just a little bit more. Please tell me that this gets better. That I will get used to hearing about OW with my kids and not want to cry.

tryingagain74 posted 8/25/2013 15:32 PM

It does get better. I felt the same way when my DS #1 told me that they had met the OW. I wasn't fantastic about masking my feelings, but I did the best that I could in the moment, and now, it really doesn't bother me when they talk about her and her kids. It's been six months since they first met her, and the only urge I have to fight is to not roll my eyes in front of the kids when they talk about some sort of "family activity" that they did during XWH's weekend. My XWH and his sycophant are trying so hard to put on a good show for all of the kids; it's laughable.

You'll get to meh. Be kind to yourself and remember that YOU are their mom and that she'll NEVER replace you. And puh-leeze-- they DON'T have happily ever after. How can you be happily married to someone when you have cheating as the foundation of your relationship?


inconnu posted 8/25/2013 16:26 PM

It does get better. At first my kids didn't mention OW at all. Then they did start talking about "this person they knew" without mentioning her by name, but it was obvious that's who they meant.

And then, earlier this year, about 3 years after the divorce was final, ex married OW. My young adult boys now freely talk about "the crazy step mother" and it doesn't faze me anymore. In truth, most of it amuses me.

None of it is fair. But with time and healing, you can get to a point where it truly doesn't matter.

Survivor3512 posted 8/25/2013 22:03 PM

Thank you, tryingagain and inconnu. I think sharing my kids with OW may be the hardest part. Ugh. Glad to know it'll get better!

SBB posted 8/26/2013 07:17 AM

It does get better. I was a hot mess when it all went down 20 weeks after S. Not as an XW but as a mum. It was all too soon, too ridiculous and my girls are so little.

The only thing worse is the thought of someone being unkind to them.

She is not interested in them at all and as a not at all intelligent, sophisticated or mature 24 y/o who dresses like some kind of emo goth thing I'd say most people think she is their surly older step sister.

I have several iterations of her to go through over these next 16 years as do my girls. Um. Yay?

Survivor3512 posted 8/26/2013 08:46 AM

Good grief, SBB. That sounds terrible!

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