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confusedsad (original poster new member #39298) posted at 5:24 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013
When does a spouse turn from a wayward spouse to a former wayward spouse? I have seen people put that in their messages, but I don't know when that transformation happens.
Me- Betrayed - married 18 years
Him- 2 week affair with someone at work
lots of kids
Trying to R
MrsDoubtfire ( member #24786) posted at 8:48 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013
When you are 110% shown proof that their cheating behaviours are now in a former life. If there is still any chance of seeing anything remotely suspicious or if they continue to disrespect you or the M then they are still wayward in their thinking.
BS(Me) FWH(Him) DDay 05.09
A went underground. True R 02.10
I won't let another woman reap the benefit of enjoying the man my H has now become†
cantaccept ( member #37451) posted at 11:41 AM on Monday, August 26th, 2013
I seem to have developed my own coding system.
He is being transparent, kind, in mc and ic. I believe that he is not a risk at this time for betrayal but I don't trust yet completely.
I always refer to him as "h", no capitalization, and the "a" is also not capitalized. I guess I think of the capital as a sign of respect, kind of like a name or God are always capitalized.
Silly but it's how I feel.
He will get the capital when I feel he has earned it and the "a" will never get it.
"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!
dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie
TxsT ( member #39996) posted at 2:07 PM on Monday, August 26th, 2013
Confused...
For me it is a way to validate that I have turned the corner of being a BS and he has turned the corner of being a WS. We have worked long and hard and overcome this hell together. I acknowledge his pain along with my own, which is very hard from some BS's to do. To me a FWS means I no longer feel he will ever be that way again. He has discovered that he too made our marriage weak...something many WS's never admit to.
T
Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)
Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!
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