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He's Not Heartless Just Dumb

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MoreThanMe posted 8/25/2013 23:33 PM

Haha just kidding- he just lacks emotional intelligence.
If I didn't know better I would literally believe my husband was acting like a moron to trick me.
He's- very, very smart. As in valedictorian, almost perfect SAT.
Yet, it took me explaining how I felt to him- the same way I explain emotions to my four year old(that feels so condescending- but Im not trying to be)
My IC told me to- and I did.
My husband and I (myself? I can never keep that straight) had a 30 minute conversation in which I was completely honest, vulnerable and explained my feelings in very, very simple terms.
That 30 minutes- and the resulting clarity-saved our marriage.
Hopefully Ill have time to explain in more detail-certain books helped.
I'm here because * I just now * remembered it was near dday month. I can't believe I FORGOT about dday this time. The fact that it was four years ago- has nothing to do with it.

[This message edited by MoreThanMe at 11:37 PM, August 25th (Sunday)]

ItsaClimb posted 8/26/2013 09:04 AM

The emotional intelligence thing is very hard to deal with. It seems to me my fWH has very little emotional intelligence... he just doesn't "get" emotional things. At a time like this I NEED him to be emotionally intelligent. His lack of sensitivity really hampers our efforts at R. I get so hurt and offended when he behaves like an emotional moron... I take it personally. In the normal course of our marriage I have been able to laugh it off, we would joke about it, I'd tease him that he has all the sensitivity of a rhinoceros' ass etc... Now it's not so funny!

jjsr posted 8/26/2013 11:22 AM

My husband is the same way. I think it is like this for a lot of men. They are taught from a young age to surpress their feelings, real men don't cry, etc. It makes them emotionally stunted.

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