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Newest Member: Silversink (49484)

User Topic: Sorry won't ever fix it
Too_Trusting
♀ 99
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 6:33 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Saw this today and felt like it perfectly sums up why sorry just isn't enough in infidelity:


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2778 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
simplydevastated
♀ 25001
Member # 25001
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This is perfect!

In my opinion when they say "for what it's worth" before the sorry just demeans it even more.


Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

Posts: 6115 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: In the darkest depths of hell!
AStar
♀ 39971
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 6:38 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I understand this perfectly. Sorry, remorse or being absolutely perfect H after an EA is not enough for me.
It can not be fixed - ever. Scars remain. So no thanks, I have difficulty even trying to fix something I didnt break.


Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson


Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
olwen
♀ 39759
Member # 39759
Default  Posted: 7:54 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I saw this on facebook a few weeks ago and showed it to H as it expressed my feelings on the matter exactly.

He paused for a minute looking sad and said "that's so true, I get what you're saying - but isn't it my job to get the superglue and try to mend it as best I can?"

I was pretty touched by that but also saddened that we have to mend the broken plate in the first place.


Posts: 1037 | Registered: Jul 2013
Too_Trusting
♀ 99
Member # 99
Default  Posted: 9:15 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

olwen, your WS has the right idea. I posted this because many WS (mine included ) reach for the "sorry card" and think that will make it better.

Once you have shattered someone's heart and trust into a million pieces, sorry doesn't mean a thing without that GLUE.


"Anyone perfect must be lying; anything easy has its cost. Anyone plain can be lovely; anyone loved can be lost." Barenaked Ladies

Posts: 2778 | Registered: Jun 2002 | From: North Carolina
cancuncrushed
♀ 28156
Member # 28156
Default  Posted: 12:42 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

This was probably silly, but it really came from my heart. I told my H to never, ever, apologize again. Ever. The word sorry, means nothing, and he seemed to be so free afterward. It makes me violent.


a trigger yesterday

Posts: 1585 | Registered: Apr 2010 | From: athome
crazyblindsided
♀ 35215
Member # 35215
Default  Posted: 12:55 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I feel the same way and my WH has said it a million different ways. I know that must be frustrating for him too.

I always thought I hated the vase idea because I didn't want there to be cracks

So I am trying to look at this like a bone that breaks. When it grows back, it grows back even stronger.


BS/FWS (me):42 Madhatter
WS/BS:45 Serial Cheater
Together 19 years, Married 14
DD(11) DS(9)
DDay(s) Too many to count
Final Dday 7/11/14 Same OW2
In Limbo Hell

Posts: 3091 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
RedRose
♀ 39584
Member # 39584
Default  Posted: 9:36 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love this quote!

Olwen, it sounds like your H really gets it!

It is really frustrating to hear "sorry" all the time but not have him really get it.


BW-35
WH - 35
2.5 year LTA

Posts: 160 | Registered: Jun 2013
Topic Posts: 8

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