A lot of your sentiments I share, Sunsets. If I could afford to, I would move to a beach! My children and I are losing our home and I have things to sort out, also.
One of my bits of anxt along with moving when we don't want to, is that Nearly Exh is already settled in his new whereabouts, while we flounder about the universe.
Yes, I know exactly what you mean. And I hear that it takes a few years past that move when the emotions begin to ebb more and flow less. I wait for that day.
As you say about your situation, Nearly ExH claimed he didn't want "responsibility", yet from what I understand is not let far out of OW sight and there is a "family" there...where it is I who will single and free, which is what he wanted...yet I mourn the life we had made and know that it wasn't all bad, as he's rewritten and I have pictures of him being happy, when he says he wasn't...
Just a long note written to say, I understand. The picket fence and grandkids in the yard is something I sought, too, and worked on for 20 years. It is gone now.
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.