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Newest Member: Mercedes66 (46046)

User Topic: Dont know if i still want to R
Gottagetthrough
27325
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 8:30 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

i still need to talk the A out, but WH is unwilling to discuss it anymore.

he wants everything to be normal again, and will not talk about the A

we spent the first year or 2 of R working on HIM... getting him off drugs and treatment for bipolar, getting him a new job (fired from 2) ... you get the idea. Rebuilding HIM.

Our marriage was in the crapper when this happened anyway, so when we lived together again, it wasn't like we were worse off than before the A.

I lived with him because he moved to a new town for a new job, and it made sense financially.

Well, i think he figures he got me back, everythings cool.. No. I want to work on our marriage, but he wont

I told him, I will stay and use you (for money, so we dont have to share the kids, etc) but that I am gone if things dont get better.

He just gets upset when I talk about divorce or laughs like i am joking.


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Jan 2010
Gottagetthrough
27325
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 8:34 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

what really got to me was yesterday he was being goofy and said, Hows retirement saving going, Gotta. I got mine, and I aint sharing!! ha ha ha

He was kidding, but it really struck me. I dont think he will take care of me. Financially, emotionally, physically. None.

Hes not taking care of me emotionally NOW. By refusing to talk about the A..

Im just pissed. Im starting planning how to leave and what my next steps are.

I LIKE WH. I really think hes a cool guy and that we have a lot in common-- more than anyone Ive ever met. I would like to be married. But hes not pulling his weight and there is nothing I can do to make him.

Ive tried to damn long to carry this marriage and Im tired.


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Jan 2010
TxsT
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 8:35 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Got...

If my husband ever laughed at me about my feelings after the hell he has put me through his ass would be on the street....literally! Ask him to leave. You have done the work to get him back on his feet. You have put your needs behind his. Now you need to come first. If he doesn't get it tell him to go....tell him to get some IC on the issue. I think that might be 180, not sure, I have never read up about it but I know I wouldn't be letting my H stick around.

T


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!


Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
Gottagetthrough
27325
Member # 27325
Default  Posted: 11:07 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

for years I kept thinking if I changed something I did, the marriage would be better...

im finally at the point where its sunk in... there is nothing I can do. Its time for WH to either pull his weight or get out.

thanks for listening


Posts: 1437 | Registered: Jan 2010
Topic Posts: 4

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