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Topic: Interesting 180 observation

nekorb
♀ 40306
Member # 40306

Posted: 8:42 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013

So...overall I'm sucking at the 180.

BUT the one thing I've done really well at the last two days is not bringing up the marriage/issues/affair etc at all.

What I have found is that the less I talk about it, the more he does!

So...I guess that's a good thing!

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

Posts: 5585 | Registered: Aug 2013

1ost0ne
♂ 40202
Member # 40202

Posted: 9:45 AM, August 26th (Monday), 2013

nekorb. If the WS is talking, that's a plus. When I mess up, I reread the 33 steps and start over. Remember, the 180 is about you feeling better about yourself. If you are able to not dwell on the A, then in reality, you are getting better.

“The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
― Maya Angelou

Posts: 96 | Registered: Aug 2013

broken0912
♀ 39780
Member # 39780

Posted: 2:31 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013

I started trying the 180 last night. Very hard, and after he went to sleep I went in the other room and cried, loud heaving sobs for 30 minutes in the middle of the floor until 4am before going to sleep.

A question I have is am I supposed to withhold affection or sex? That sounds wrong.

BS 52
WS 64
OW 34 now - 23-24 when it began
dday-9/4/12
M 16+ together 19
HIS DC: D-33
6,S-28,S-25
MINE: 0 -he was too old to have C at 44, but had OC at 57
LTA: EA 1-2yr then 1.5 after pa end
LTA: PA 3.5-4 yrs

Posts: 120 | Registered: Jul 2013

jjct
♂ 17484
Member # 17484

Posted: 6:55 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013

nekorb - You're doing well, take it easy on yourself and practice practice practice.

On the affection and sex question, well...how about reading it again

http://survivinginfidelity.com/faq_bs.asp#FAQ11

and see how it feels while you're reading it.

Edit:
Just bumped some good threads - the ones with the "target" icons.

[This message edited by jjct at 7:01 PM, August 26th (Monday)]

Posts: 7267 | Registered: Dec 2007 | From: texas

Topic Posts: 4

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