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Nightmares about WW & OMs'

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3Xthefool posted 8/26/2013 12:04 PM

I am currently a little more than a month away from the 1yr anniversary of DDay#1.

I thought that by now, R would be well under way and that things would be showing improvement (DDay#3 was 5mos ago). On the contrary, WW is preoccupied with some changes occurring at work and is working very late which takes time away from "us". Even before the changes at her office, she has shown very little initiative to work on R. If I'm not the one pushing for us to do some reading or open a reading or discussion is ever done. Although she does go to IC and MC those sessions have dwindled down to once a month.

The problem I am having now is that for the past couple weeks, I have been having nightmares of WW continuing with her affairs and starting up new ones. A couple of times this has "triggered" some suspicions that her late nights of work aren't just for work. This preoccupies my mind and gets me worked up. Yesterday I woke up after one of the nightmares and it really bothered me all day. Then last night I just blew up at WW, accusing her that her pattern has been to lie to me and shut me out for 8 straight years during her affairs and asked why I should believe that she isn't lying to me now.

Anyone else experience this type of nightmares? Is it normal for dreams to be affected this late after DDay? I didn't have any dreams about WW's affairs until the last couple weeks.

Is there anything that can help with this issue?

Any input would be most welcome.


3Xthefool posted 8/26/2013 12:09 PM

One thing I forgot to mention is that about a week ago, WW shut off the function on her iPhone which allows me to track her whereabouts. I don't use it much but on those nights she works late I like to use it just to make sure she is in the office. Although there is nothing preventing OM from visiting her at the office, it at least reassures me of her physical location.

She denies having turned off that function on the phone. But my experience is that those functions don't just turn themselves off. Someone had to purposefully turn it off. So it was either her or someone who has access to her phone.

BeautifulEmpty posted 8/26/2013 12:28 PM

Hi...I'm not sure what to say about what your W is doing right now but I'd say keep your eyes wide open. Her actions are all that matter and it doesn't really sound like she's in R as much as you'd like her to be. I'm NOT saying that she's actively cheating...but it doesn't sound like she's in R fully either.
I was literally just coming on here after being awakened by another nightmare.
I'm a little over a year out and I've recently been having nightmares about my fWS and OW. My brain usually doesn't go there but it seems to be now as this is the third dream about this I've had. I think I'm going to make a separate post about it but I wanted you to kow you aren't alone.

3Xthefool posted 8/26/2013 12:52 PM

One though that I had was that this slew of nightmares might have something to do with the fact that the 1yr anniversary of DDay#1 is so close. It was an emotionally traumatic event in my life. I don't even think that I was as affected by the death's of my parents or of my youngest brother was as traumatic as this was. I guess my subconscious mind is playing tricks on me.

jackson posted 8/26/2013 13:31 PM

WW shut off the function on her iPhone which allows me to track her

Did she turn it back on and what is her reason not to? Sounds very suspicious.

NotDefeatedYet posted 8/26/2013 13:44 PM

Four years later, and it still happens to me every once in a while.

As far as her phone goes, I would get it, turn the feature back on, and make sure she knows it will not simply turn itself off. Communication and trust are too big of a deal to let slide when you are married to a proven cheater. If she doesn't like it, swap her phones one day. Set your rules now for her and for yourself.

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