If its your house, you tell him to leave. Pack his shit in hefty bags and put them on the porch. And then file for child support.
You deserve better.
Well first, just breathe.
I'm a little more than a month past DDay and just figuring out that this mess doesn't get sorted out in a few days...no matter how hard you push, how much you cry, how many times you tell him it hurts....
Cry it out, take a look at the 180 (I can't even believe I'm saying that...never thought I could do it!)...one thing I will say about the 180 is too oh do the parts that resonate with you. I don't agree with the whole list, so I do the things that seem meaningful to me.
I'm so sorry you're here.
I concur with Williesmom.
It takes an extra-special, despicable piece of shit to fuck-around on a woman who is pregnant with their child. Right now he should have the paternal instinct to be ever-more-so protective of you BECAUSE you are carrying his legacy.
Instead, he is knowingly putting you in mental anguish because he wants to dick around with someone he met on the fucking Internet?
Ok, time to re-evaluate and redistribute your emotional energy here:
You are pregnant - with yours and his child.
He is NOT protecting you - nor is he protecting yours/his child. Your mental and emotional stress is hurting THIS BABY.
Time for YOU to take matters into YOUR OWN hands because HE IS NOT being a father by any stretch.
Let some of your anguish and pain turn to controlled anger and do so with a cold, steely, demeanor.
Consult with an attorney and file a petition with the court for child support. Do this first and don't tell him before hand. Let him be served with the petition.
Next, if it is indeed your house then calmly advise him that he needs to pack his shit and leave the premises. If he gives you any shit then tell him you will be advising the local police that you are an unwanted party in your home that is refusing to leave and you need help in extracting him.
Tell him that only after he has been in verifiable non-contact whatsoever with this woman for at least a month that you may consider discussing any possibility of reconciling - after he begins individual counseling to find out why the fuck he would behave like this in the first place.
Personally, he sounds like he belongs on the Jerry Springer or Maury Povich stage - and that's no place for you or your baby.
You both deserve, and can do better than this.
I'm sorry you find yourself here.
Better get with a lawyer, learn your rights.
I wouldn't look to him for help right now, he wont.
Eat, drink, sleep, hold your daughter close.
You'll make it.
Do you have family to help you?? Friends??
Keep coming back here for help and support. If we have to be in this situation, here is a good place to share.
take care of you,,,,
I know someone who is a divorce attorney.
She said it's really temporary insanity that the WS do this type of thing to their families.
Please do not keep this a secret . Call your family,, his family, pastor. GET SUPPORT..
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
Also what is the 180 can someonr explain it to me?
I believe I did several effective things to encourage her to leave. I made it absolutely clear that under no circumstances would I ever leave. I continued conducting surveillance and made it obvious that I would know exactly what she was doing until she left. I had exposed the affair by that point, and I told her that I would invite people over to the house including family, friends, and others. I needed them there for support, and under the circumstances, she would have felt increasingly uncomfortable. I also just asked her to leave and explained that I wasn't trying to make life difficult just to be difficult. I simply could not allow her to actively engage in an affair and continue staying in our home.
If these measures had not been effective, I would have attempted to engage her in frequent conversations about our relationship and the affair. She did not like having these conversations, and her fallback was usually to threaten to leave. She had left a few times in the past, so this probably would have made her uncomfortable enough to stay away.
The morning I actually asked her not to return home, she had stayed overnight at the OM's house. By coincidence, I texted her shortly after she left his house to return to our home. I'm sure she could not deny that what she was doing was wrong and that what I was requesting was perfectly reasonable under the circumstances. Though my wife showed almost know remorse, I'm pretty sure she was ashamed of herself at moments like these. Thankfully, she respected my request and did not return home.
Hopefully, something I did will work for you as well. I know how you feel. Stay strong. You can make it through this.
If its your house, you tell him to leave.
Consult with an attorney
Focus on kids , read the 180
Keep coming back here for help and support.
do not keep this a secret . Call your family,, his family, pastor.
Stay strong. You can make it through this.
First of all, I'm so sorry you are going through this. There are several of us on here who are pregnant and discovered our SOs are cheating, lying dirtbags. I really do understand how painful this is. Please, do your best to take care of yourself. Read and post here often. This place has helped keep me sane the past 3 weeks.
Your SO is a massive piece of shit. Flush him away. Contact a lawyer ASAP about child support and getting him out of the house. As keptmyword said, do not tell him you are doing this. You want to keep the upper hand and stay in control.
Read up on and implement the 180.
You are strong and you can do this.