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blindsided03 posted 8/26/2013 18:43 PM

I don't know what's happened to me lately. I feel so angry that I can hardly stand anything. I don't really have any good reason for the anger, but it's there. I thought I was so over my ex-H from months of abuse that this wouldn't be that much of a problem. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have had an ex-bf come to visit, either. That was a weird thing to do, but not because I dont like the ex. The thing about the ex is that he's kind, and motivated, and smart, and sweet, and a real go-getter. He's pretty much everything that Ex-H wasn't. I spent a great deal of my marriage missing the ex-bf and he missed me. When I said I was single, he said he was coming. We had a beautiful time and it was wonderful. What are the chances that I'm super angry about the fact that I left this guy for ex-H as well as the fact that ex-H couldn't provide the things for me that I just saw someone else give me? Am I so angry because he couldn't admit to himself what he was capable of before he married me? Why am I so furious??? I am very happy to talk with my ex because I missed him so so so much; it's not like a new guy who is a rebound. It's the man I used to love and left for this idiot who betrayed me twice. I'm so glad he's back in my life because he motivates me to be a better person, work harder, learn more, love myself, and enjoy life to the fullest. He's always got a smile on his face and I love that. We broke up because he was too busy for me. I'm sure that he's not really a factor here in my divorce because he lives in another city (MA) and I'm far from him. I just wish that I could figure out the reasons behind my anger so I can get back to my life!

jjct posted 8/26/2013 20:34 PM

Sounds like you're angry at yourself for the poor choices you made...
Like we don't get much of that around here...
The ex bf's presence in your life is also a reminder of that.

Too, there is

shouldn't have had an ex-bf come to visit, either. That was a weird thing to do, but not because I dont like the ex.

Could it be your gut telling you that you need more time to heal before getting serious again?

I usually advise ppl to embrace what they're feeling, go through it.
Some day you'll wake up and realize you haven't been angry in awhile.

blindsided03 posted 8/26/2013 22:44 PM

Hi, jjct,
Thank you for your post. It's nice to have a voice of reason. Maybe I am really angry at myself. I guess I hadn't considered that option since I hadn't done anything "wrong" with the A situation. I just put all the blame on him. I was really mad at myself for sleeping with the ex...I do not feel like that was a good decision. While it's nothing I haven't done before, I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't thinking that I'd feel guilty about it...not to stbx-douche, but to myself. Like I could do better than what seems like rebound sex...like I should be able to validate myself instead of looking for comfort in the arms of someone else. You're very wise :)
Thank you.

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