SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I don't know what's happened to me lately. I feel so angry that I can hardly stand anything. I don't really have any good reason for the anger, but it's there. I thought I was so over my ex-H from months of abuse that this wouldn't be that much of a problem. In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have had an ex-bf come to visit, either. That was a weird thing to do, but not because I dont like the ex. The thing about the ex is that he's kind, and motivated, and smart, and sweet, and a real go-getter. He's pretty much everything that Ex-H wasn't. I spent a great deal of my marriage missing the ex-bf and he missed me. When I said I was single, he said he was coming. We had a beautiful time and it was wonderful. What are the chances that I'm super angry about the fact that I left this guy for ex-H as well as the fact that ex-H couldn't provide the things for me that I just saw someone else give me? Am I so angry because he couldn't admit to himself what he was capable of before he married me? Why am I so furious??? I am very happy to talk with my ex because I missed him so so so much; it's not like a new guy who is a rebound. It's the man I used to love and left for this idiot who betrayed me twice. I'm so glad he's back in my life because he motivates me to be a better person, work harder, learn more, love myself, and enjoy life to the fullest. He's always got a smile on his face and I love that. We broke up because he was too busy for me. I'm sure that he's not really a factor here in my divorce because he lives in another city (MA) and I'm far from him. I just wish that I could figure out the reasons behind my anger so I can get back to my life!

Sounds like you're angry at yourself for the poor choices you made...

Like we don't get much of that around here...

The ex bf's presence in your life is also a reminder of that.

Too, there is

shouldn't have had an ex-bf come to visit, either. That was a weird thing to do, but not because I dont like the ex.

Could it be your gut telling you that you need more time to heal before getting serious again?

I usually advise ppl to embrace what they're feeling, go through it.

Some day you'll wake up and realize you haven't been angry in awhile.

Hi, jjct,

Thank you for your post. It's nice to have a voice of reason. Maybe I am really angry at myself. I guess I hadn't considered that option since I hadn't done anything "wrong" with the A situation. I just put all the blame on him. I was really mad at myself for sleeping with the ex...I do not feel like that was a good decision. While it's nothing I haven't done before, I wasn't ready for this. I wasn't thinking that I'd feel guilty about it...not to stbx-douche, but to myself. Like I could do better than what seems like rebound sex...like I should be able to validate myself instead of looking for comfort in the arms of someone else. You're very wise :)

Thank you.