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8 yo DD has learned of 1/2 sibling, met OWhore, spent the night

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FieldsOfLavender posted 8/26/2013 22:15 PM

STBX tells me that he read that it's important not to keep secrets from children because it seems like we are hiding something more hideous than it really is.

STBX moved out 2 months ago. Two WEEKS ago, before giving me a heads up, he told 8 yo daughter that she will have a 1/2 brother or sister in the new year. One week ago, he introduced OWhore into our child's life. Two days ago, Owhore spent the night at STBX's apartment while our child was there. Morality aside, I think this is too much for a child to absorb, but he will not acknowledge that. He has close to never acknowledged anything that I have ever said.

STBX came over to pick up our child. He also wanted me to sign some documents, which he had not given me a heads up about, again. I did not goad our child to give me information about OWhore. She just gave me the info. This morning she said, "Did daddy tell you that *Whore* spent the night?" With all these things happening in succession in a short span of time, and with the news of whore already spending the night with our child there, too, I got argumentative and irate in front of our child when stbx was here. I'm contributing to alienating my child. I could not stop myself.

Kajem posted 8/27/2013 09:46 AM

Sweetie, you are not contributing to alienation. You're reeling because your coparenting with a jerk. One who does not think about how his actions will hurt his 8 yo DD. if he had any attempt at working with you in the best interests of your DD. he would have given you a heads up.

He's a selfish, entitled jerk.

Give yourself a pat on the back for not smacking some sr se into him, and your DD some extra hugs.


momentintime posted 8/27/2013 13:04 PM

Never sign anything you haven't had time to review or ask for legal counsel. Take the papers and tell hi, you will review and get back to him with a decision to sign or not.

As for his roughshod treatment of your feelings about his time table to inform your child, not much you can do to control him. However you don't have to be nice to him when he treats you this way.

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