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Ariabook posted 8/26/2013 23:32 PM

It's like my mind refuses to believe all of this is/ has been happening?

pregnantandsad posted 8/26/2013 23:53 PM

That's the way I have been feeling this whole time (about 7 weeks) and it's just now really starting to hit me that this isn't a nightmare.

The 1st couple weeks I would wake up thinking it was all a dream, then when I realized it was real I could hardly breath. Now I am slowly accepting that this is my new reality and figure out where to go from here. Not easy and I am sorry you are here too

NWfleur posted 8/27/2013 00:16 AM

Oh yeah. I would bolt awake at all hours of the night thinking, this cannot be happening.

Those first few months I floated around like I was in a dream. I think it's how our brains deal with trauma.

Now, a year and a half plus later, I'm feeling great and so much happier...and yet I STILL wake up in the middle of the night and think...WTF? I think about our beautiful years together, when things were good and I trusted him and never, ever would have predicted this...I think about the births of our kids...and still just can't believe it happened the way it did.
I think maybe in some ways that feeling of it being a dream/nightmare never fully goes away???

Nature_Girl posted 8/27/2013 00:18 AM

Very normal. It's your mind trying to protect you from the pain of your reality.

newlysingle posted 8/27/2013 01:55 AM

Yes, I feel the same. When I think about our previous life together, I feel the same way. Us getting married, having our babies, getting the dog, etc. It all seems like it was a dream now.

nomistakeaboutit posted 8/27/2013 05:10 AM

Yes. I'm sure it's as Nature Girl said - a self-preservation mechanism built into our brains somehow. It's completely normal. For the first week, or so, I truly wondered if maybe, just maybe, I was going to wake up from a dream (nightmare). For the next couple of weeks, I still couldn't believe it was true (that my wife had cheated on me), but the "hope" that I would be waking from a dream started to fade.

You're lucky to have found SI this early in the process of discovering the betrayal. I found it a bit later, so I wasn't able to do sanity checks like the one you're doing with this post.

Sorry you're here. Good luck to you.

Ashland13 posted 8/27/2013 18:14 PM

Yes...I think and feel it's a fog of it's own, an unreality, perhaps, that our mind finds in order to handle things as they come.

So much shock.

Phoenix1 posted 8/27/2013 18:28 PM

I was a functioning zombie for at least the first two months after the last D-Day. It is normal, but will slowly start to fade as the shock wears off and your brain starts to come to terms with your new reality. I went through the motions of daily life and dealing with the upheaval, but really could not tell you exactly what I did as it is all very hazy. Time really does help so hang in there!

nowiknow23 posted 8/27/2013 18:51 PM

((((ariabook)))) It is normal, or at least what passes for normal in these conditions. Hang in there.

mof2 posted 8/27/2013 18:53 PM

Totally normal. It is the brains way of helping you deal with the shock. Over the weeks ahead it will fade. Just hang in there!!!!