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Newest Member: BrokeninSept17 (61547)

User Topic: Is it normal to feel as if you're dreaming?
♀ 39669
Member # 39669
Default  Posted: 11:32 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's like my mind refuses to believe all of this is/ has been happening?

Posts: 75 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: Newwhere
♀ 40141
Member # 40141
Default  Posted: 11:53 PM, August 26th (Monday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That's the way I have been feeling this whole time (about 7 weeks) and it's just now really starting to hit me that this isn't a nightmare.

The 1st couple weeks I would wake up thinking it was all a dream, then when I realized it was real I could hardly breath. Now I am slowly accepting that this is my new reality and figure out where to go from here. Not easy and I am sorry you are here too

M 7 years, together for 12
2 kids- DD5 & DD 1 1/2
D-Day 7/2013 - Divorced!

Posts: 160 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: California
♀ 35874
Member # 35874
Default  Posted: 12:16 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh yeah. I would bolt awake at all hours of the night thinking, this cannot be happening.

Those first few months I floated around like I was in a dream. I think it's how our brains deal with trauma.

Now, a year and a half plus later, I'm feeling great and so much happier...and yet I STILL wake up in the middle of the night and think...WTF? I think about our beautiful years together, when things were good and I trusted him and never, ever would have predicted this...I think about the births of our kids...and still just can't believe it happened the way it did.
I think maybe in some ways that feeling of it being a dream/nightmare never fully goes away???

Me BS (39)
Him WS (36)
2 DS
M: 9 years (together 13)
DD: 4/10/2012
(Separated since 12/11...affair began ??!!)


Posts: 336 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: USA
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 12:18 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very normal. It's your mind trying to protect you from the pain of your reality.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 38735
Member # 38735
Default  Posted: 1:55 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I feel the same. When I think about our previous life together, I feel the same way. Us getting married, having our babies, getting the dog, etc. It all seems like it was a dream now.

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

Posts: 1268 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: AZ
♂ 36857
Member # 36857
Default  Posted: 5:10 AM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes. I'm sure it's as Nature Girl said - a self-preservation mechanism built into our brains somehow. It's completely normal. For the first week, or so, I truly wondered if maybe, just maybe, I was going to wake up from a dream (nightmare). For the next couple of weeks, I still couldn't believe it was true (that my wife had cheated on me), but the "hope" that I would be waking from a dream started to fade.

You're lucky to have found SI this early in the process of discovering the betrayal. I found it a bit later, so I wasn't able to do sanity checks like the one you're doing with this post.

Sorry you're here. Good luck to you.

Me: BH 58.........Her: WW 45
DD: 8..........DS: 6 (5 and 2 on DDay)
Married for six years.
DDay: 12-25-11 Divorced: 7-15-12

Posts: 1288 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: U.S.A.
♀ 38378
Member # 38378
Default  Posted: 6:14 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes...I think and feel it's a fog of it's own, an unreality, perhaps, that our mind finds in order to handle things as they come.

So much shock.

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

Posts: 3034 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: New England
♀ 38928
Member # 38928
Default  Posted: 6:28 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was a functioning zombie for at least the first two months after the last D-Day. It is normal, but will slowly start to fade as the shock wears off and your brain starts to come to terms with your new reality. I went through the motions of daily life and dealing with the upheaval, but really could not tell you exactly what I did as it is all very hazy. Time really does help so hang in there!

BS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Kids - 2 adult DDs - DS20 Deceased
Happily divorced!

~Indifference - Because some people do not deserve your emotions.~

I edit often because my tablet is possessed!

Posts: 4962 | Registered: Apr 2013 | From: Land of Indifference
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 6:51 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((ariabook)))) It is normal, or at least what passes for normal in these conditions. Hang in there.

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40249 | Registered: Aug 2011
♀ 40287
Member # 40287
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Totally normal. It is the brains way of helping you deal with the shock. Over the weeks ahead it will fade. Just hang in there!!!!

BW - Me 43
WH - Cheating Swine 43
Dday - February 12, 2013....a week before I was to give birth to the child I miscarried and 12 days before our 5th anniversary.

Posts: 364 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: DFW
Topic Posts: 10

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