Almost a year later than my first lawyer promised it would be done but the court date is finally set. We have a settlement agreement and everything went amicably so far so it should be straightforward. By mid October I will be legally and officially free of him.
Only snag? It's 2 days before our would-be wedding anniversary! It shouldn't bother me but it is. It's just going to make something emotional more emotional. It is still jarring that it is the same man that I grew up with and spent so many years forming memories with that absolutely crushed me. All fake memories now but doesn't change how I felt about him in those years. If only he was who I believed him to be! Don't take me wrong I am so fucking happy this is almost over and I am so over stbx and his drama. Since in-house separation ended I have really felt lighter without him around. I have many obstacles I'm working on but one of them is not missing him. I so do not miss him or want R anymore. However he still was a part of my whole life and I will sit in that court room remembering that only a few years ago on that same day I thought I was marrying the love of my life soon and that so much good was coming for us.... Oh how wrong I was!!! Life changes so very quickly.
I suppose it is normal to be emotional too? Even though I am so done with stbx! It's more about the fact that it wasn't suppose to end like this. I wasn't suppose to have my heart ripped out before the ink could barely dry on our marriage contract.
On the other side I feel only relief. So close, almost done with this shit!
