SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

We are separated and now separating bills. I am going to file for D to get support. WH says he is proposing to pay more than what I would get in formal support. He doesn't get it that I am not interested in being under his financial control and having to ask him what he will pay each month. So I will file.

We have private school tuition and not to mention kids activity fees for sports leagues uniforms, sports clothing, medical, dental out of pocket. ect. Who pays all of these? I guess we can put all this in our divorce decree but who pays until then while we are separated? I hate having to ask him for money.

[This message edited by eyesrnowopen at 9:52 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)]

When you file for D you might need to file for a temporary order to cover those things unless you have a written proof from him on what he is willing to give.

The amount covered could be split differently by state. Any activities and school choices that are already part of the kids life should be easy to ask for continued support if the child enjoys that activity. New activities will probably require agreement that you both with support the decision and get the child to said activities.

In my state if private school is agreed upon then it is split by percentage of gross income.

Same with activity fees, uniforms, materials for said activity, as well as out of pocket medical, dental and vision expenses.

When we split, before we had things in writing, I took his income and mine, got the total, then figured out the percentages. He made 60% of our income,I made 40%. So, I said, here's the bill for xxx. You make 60% of our total income, so your part is xxx. Throw it out there, see what happens.

Like dm....the agreement on who pays what was done and signed PRIOR to the divorce. He left end of January, the agreement was signed and institued on 2/19 (D wasn't until July).

We did not do the state calculation for CS. Attorney recommended an amount, DH covers their med/dental (we split the deductibles, etc 50/50). We also split all school and extracurricular activities.

You can put anything (and any amount) in your agreement. You do not have to use the state calculator.

HOWEVER....once you have your agreement done, still file it with domestic relations. They will still process the payments directly from him.

This way you do not have to deal with him and if there is ever an issue with him not paying CS - they are in a position to help you.

Edited: Address EVERYTHING you can think of in the agreement (tuition, uniform, sports, school trips, etc)...this saves you having to bicker about every little think down the line. I just mail him a statement each month with the invoices for sports and what is half is.

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 9:54 AM, August 28th (Wednesday)]