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sodamnlost posted 8/27/2013 09:59 AM

Looking into divorce support groups - anyone have experience? Are they actually helpful?

endlessabsurdity posted 8/27/2013 10:31 AM

I can't speak to divorce support groups specifically, though I am probably headed there soon enough. I did I found a local support group for dealing with affairs through the Beyond Affairs Network. It has been incredibly helpful for me. I'm also in therapy and have a large support network of friends and family, which have been very helpful as well, but the only people I talk to that really understand and can fully empathize are the people in the support group. It is very cathartic to share in that setting. I highly recommend giving it a try. We all need a place where we can safely talk about the nasty, gritty reality of life with other people that understand.

[This message edited by endlessabsurdity at 10:34 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)]

MovingUpward posted 8/27/2013 10:33 AM

I went to meetings of a group called DivorceCare. There was a program of DVDs and books that also had open discussion. This program does from time to time make references to christian scriptures but it isn't overwhelming if you happen not to practice that religion.

kg201 posted 8/27/2013 10:40 AM

I have my first session with my cancer care giver group today and my wife's infidelity is on the agenda. I am wondering whether they will kick me out of the group tonight, since I am no longer caring for her since she made her decision to stay with the OM.

Maybe it is time to transition to a divorce group.

ISPIFFD posted 8/27/2013 10:44 AM

I actually found DivorceCare to be a little too pro-Christian (for me!). It wasn't the materials, it was the group leaders, and I'm not knocking them or their path at all. It just wasn't for me when they came out and said in the first meeting that you don't need to be a believer, but really if you don't accept Jesus as your savior, you'll never truly be healed. I decided not to go back rather than feel like I wasn't going to quite live up to what they seemed to expect of the participants.

Just my 2 cents, and your group situation could work out perfectly for you.

edited because my lack of grammar this morning is astounding...

[This message edited by ISPIFFD at 10:47 AM, August 27th (Tuesday)]

mof2 posted 8/27/2013 10:53 AM

I go to a grief support group at my church that I love. Besides my H leaving, I also had a miscarriage (he left a week before the baby was to be due) and my mom has breast cancer...that is why my church recommended a grief support group. It has helped immensely.

Elaine2012 posted 8/27/2013 11:21 AM

I attended a Divorce Care group and found it very helpful. It is Christian based which was fine for me. You could look at their website for more info.

Our group really connected and almost a year later we are still getting together at least once a month with some extra Friday evenings for good measure. My experience was so positive I would recommend at least checking them out and see how they fit.

sodamnlost posted 8/27/2013 13:34 PM

I will look into DivorceCare for sure - I am a Christian so that fits. I have only one "healthy" friend and we are not THAT close. My BFF is a walking nightmare of poor choices after she found out she is a BW. While we have lots to talk about - our paths to recovery are VERY different. I have no family other than my children who I won't talk to about this stuff clearly. I handled my first divorce so poorly, I ended up here. I'd rather not do that this time.

Kajem posted 8/27/2013 14:07 PM

I attended a Fresh Start program. It is Christian based. It is more about what happens AFTER the divorce . How do you manage, finances, kids, dating, sex, dreams, moving on. The fresh start group lasted about 8 weeks. Then we moved to boundaries, safe people. Fresh start works well with the books/programs by Townsend and Cloud ( authors of the Boundaries books).

I am thinking about rereading my books and notes.


newlysingle posted 8/27/2013 14:21 PM

I am also doing DivorceCare. I am not a Christian either, so at times the religious references can be a bit much. However, I take what I need from it and leave the rest. It is very common sense information, it's just based around Christianity. Other than that, I've found the group very supportive. There are many there dealing with infidelity.

If you are Christian, you shouldn't have any issues with them. I would love to go to a Beyond Affairs group, but the nearest one is 2 hours away from me.

sparkysable posted 8/27/2013 15:19 PM

I'm pretty sure DivorceCare saved my life.

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