Oh, man, it is sooooo hard. I am only 3 weeks out from the bomb drop. I am still mostly a seething hot volcano of hot lava.
When we have seen eachother I can not even look at him, nor he at me. He hangs his head in shame.
I know I have to be civil for the sake of the kids. On Monday when he picked them up, I even let him in the house. Made him stand there and wait for the little one to come down. He was very uncomfortable.
I was not overly cordial or overly rude, but just treated him like a worker or chauffer hired to drive the kids to their after school activities. I only spoke to the kids. When he dropped them off, I started talking to the kids and as he was saying bye and I love you I let the door swing shut- and they didn't even notice that he was still talking to them.
It was great. There he stood at the door to the house, in the garage. The kids, the dog, the dinner, the family all on the inside. He was on the outside, staring at a slammed door.
A metaphor for his life. You are on the outside of this family now F**Ker.
In time I may be nicer if it is good for the kids, but honestly all this highly coordinated blended family co-parenting crap takes two people that can communicate and are willing to deal with eachother. I doubt I will be able to do that.
I have always said of other people who split up, I don't know how people do it. When your married and have kids, it is even hard to agree all the time on how to raise them how to handle things with them. Then you get Divorced and they have one life with one and one life with the other, it is messy and crappy. It is a SHIT STORM of EPIC proportion. It sucks for the person who did not chose this and even worse IT sucks MOST for the kids. Why do they have to be inconvenienced because they have a SHIT HEAD for a father who ruined it for everyone.
Well, maybe I am still a little bitter....ya think!