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Newest Member: BSRed (49887)

User Topic: Idealizing Love
♂ 38622
Member # 38622
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I find myself doing this. I idealize what our marriage should be like. How hot the sex should be, how connected and dumb in love we should be. Sometimes I think I am not being realistic and setting myself up for disappointment. Anyone else do this? How do you combat that and live more in the present? It will never be like it was in the beginning but how can you spark some of those feelings again in your spouse?

ME-BS 34
M 6 Yrs
DDAY- 8/20/12

Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2013
♀ 16652
Member # 16652
Default  Posted: 4:48 PM, August 27th (Tuesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You do it by not focusing on the perceived "shoulds" (according to who? The movies, storybooks?) and instead focusing on what IS good. When you have great news who do you want to tell first? Who do you share the bad stuff with? Do you hug each other just because you feel like it? Do you still laugh together?

Marriage is not an end in itself. It's a shared journey thru life. You share it with someone you enjoy, who makes the memories sweeter, who makes it matter all the more. Marriage isn't the 4th of July, it's every day. Only better.

It's not really a fairy tale 'till the witch is deposed and a few dragons are slain


Posts: 1969 | Registered: Oct 2007
Topic Posts: 2

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