Will this be a men only party? Why aren't you invited? No wives? They will have a band and a bunch of guys are just going to bop around together? I do not think so.
This is a 33 year friendship so the guy has to know about you. Even if it is friends giving the party I think they have breached etiquette by not inviting you. Unless it is like a stag party. I could see a cookout, drinks, maybe cards or something, but a full out party with a band. No women? I do not believe it.
My H would never ask me to go let alone go, expect to spend the night and never even call. If you cannot go to the party, at least go with him to check in at the hotel and wait for him there. Spend the night with him at least.
This is your call, but he never gets in touch when he travels? I would have a huge problem with that. I expect a call, hotel, room number, room pics, FaceTime if I request, and he better answer if I call him, no matter what time. I also have find a phone.
Married 30+ years
2 young adult children
OW single 20 years younger
Together trying to R
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose