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Newest Member: Findinghope101 (61130)

User Topic: My version of the 180....
♀ 38173
Member # 38173
Default  Posted: 10:54 AM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, a mountain of fuckery has happened since I last posted. The latest and last straw was a picture that was sent to me of the WS and his sidepiece posing at an event…looking all happy go lucky. This didn’t anger me. But it did irritate me! WHY does he keep acting like she is horrible, but they out in the streets kicking it and dating and ish? So, I forwarded the pic and told him we need to stop playing and end this now, civilly and like adults, as he is clearly having fun. I am sitting here acting married, and he isn’t, so lets end this so we can both be free to roam. He simply says, OK. GREAT!...well, not really, but I can deal. Monday, he says he feels horrible about everything, Me: WE will both be fine regardless.
Tuesday, he lets me know that I can call him if I need anything. Me: no response, Then later that day, sends this:

Him: What if I told you I need you to move in with me to help me with my oldest girls?
After an hour of thought, Me: What can I help you with that does not involve me moving in? After school stuff, keeping them until you get off work? Would you like to sign them up for my track team? …..No response from him.

Then he messages me saying that the side piece called the police on him and he might go to jail, so could I help. (Keep in mind, this same woman has done this to him before we were married. My male cousins have said, its her version of control. So while he felt restricted being married, he simply made a lateral shift to a more manipulative, version of restriction I.E. (if he doesn’t do what she wants, she calls the police). Me: no response. He then says, he will go make a police report, but if they keep him, can I get his kids to school in the morning…Me: I can do that.

Now, all the while, I am praying, and crying, that whatever solution is to come, is something that I don’t have to have anything to do with. I prayed that he wouldn’t need my help at all, and that by 8pm that day, I would get word that everything is all good. Imagine, it was!!! YAY!!

So after that comes the texts: Thank you for always being there for me, so glad you are my wife…gonna hate to lose you…(me, no response)….then 3 hours later, I guess a divorce is best, I suppose…(me, no response).

My granny says the bible says, “a double minded man is unstable in all his ways”… I think that is what I am dealing with here….gonna continue this version of the 180 and feed him with a long handled spoon….

"Spoil me with Loyalty; I can finance myself...."
ME: BS-33
HE: WS-32
Married 3 years, known 20
2 kids
D-Day #1 12/30/12
False Recovery
D-Day #2 1/21/14
LTA 5 years-ish
Riding the "Struggle Bus"
Living apart....

Posts: 668 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: Midwest
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:59 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You do see what the unifying theme was, in all of his contact to you was, don't you? What Can You Do For Me?

Can you move in with me, to be my unpaid babysitter for MY girls, so that I can run around, screw whatever skank crosses my path, and stumble home whenever I please knowing that you are taking care of my life?

Can you be on short-notice call to take my kids whenever I screw up, the OW gets pissed and tries to have me arrested (maybe in front of the children), or just disappear? And BTW, can you deal with my girls being devastated, crying, hysterical, in shock and trauma, when I drop all of this shit on them and by proxy, you?

And can you pretend to be grateful that I'm asking you to put your entire life on hold while I screw around?

NikkiD, flee. He fired you from being his wife so he could go screw around. He's now trying to negotiate you being his babysitter/live-in nanny. This is not what you want your life to look like. (((hugs)))

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012

Posts: 9926 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 2

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