Hi, I haven't felt up to checking in but just wanted to thank people for their advice and comfort.
It actually went really well- I've had an absolutely lovely few days. It's our paper anniversary and he made me a lovely card, with strips of paper and a memory written on each one. I am writing him a letter but not finished it- I didn't want to get a present, just in case.
He surprised me the night before our anniversary with dinner, then the next day we went to a football match and then in the evening he'd set up 2 things and I could pick. We went to see a play outdoors, and it was lovely. We drank the bottle of the champagne we were given on our wedding day.
The A has come up and not been glossed over, but not hurt too much. I really do think he is completely remorseful and he thanked me often for still being here and giving him another chance (after a bad night on Wednesday where he told me he felt hopeless sometimes and didn't know how to cope with what he'd done) and saying he had learned a lot. He has been lovely, and I've been returning his love and affection.
I guess my wedding present was putting our photos back up. When he walked out and told he had cheated, my friend came round and sat with me. I had a college of our wedding photos on our wall, surrounded by stars. While I was (finally) sleeping, she took them down (I asked her to) and rearranged the stars in a smiley face. I left the stars as they were but put the photos back up as a gesture. And they don't hurt so much anymore. I am healing.
Off to Paris for my birthday on Tuesday :)