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Hello all,
I just wanted to post to express thoughts and feelings I’m experiencing today. My BGF and I had a “good” night last night. Haven’t had one in a while. She said I could give her a hug this morning. First physical contact in over a week. I would love to give credit to one of the members on this forum but I do not know at this time who s/he is. My BGF found a post on what she and I are now calling the “Weak Buffalo” post. On how everyone “affairs down” because the WS seeks out the weakest of the herd to make him or her feel stronger about themselves. A tremendous post and I’ll try to find the posters username and pass that on. Just in one day, I have seen a big turnaround in my BGF in her self-esteem just by reading that post.
With that being said, I have to keep reminding myself that there’s always work to be done and I cannot become complacent in the way things are today as I have done in the past. I used to be so excited for “good” days that the next “bad” day hits me much harder and tips over my hope bucket.
Any progress is good progress but don’t lose sight of the job at hand. Keep pushing forward to be a better person today than you were yesterday.

Yes, please let us know when you find that post. I really need to read that. I'm so happy to hear about your progress...keep it up!

I remember the post you're talking about, SheHatesMe. I tried to go back through the forum and find it, but I'm afraid it may have fallen off the end. I don't remember who the poster was, but if he/she reads this one, maybe they could sum it up for us.

I love this post:

http://www.survivinginfidelity.com/forums.asp?tid=326449

For me, this is 100% the case, but in the end it didn't matter. It's not the AP that makes or breaks the relationship, its the WS.

SheHatesMe, please keep your forward momentum going by working on yourself and digging deep to find the reasons why you did what you did. Be consistent with your BS. Let her know she is safe with you. Check in with her when you aren't around. Ask her what triggers her. Work on yourself but pay attention to her too.

The bad days are always going to be there, with or without you being together. This is a long journey, but I hope you work hard to fix what is broken.

NewMom

but in the end it didn't matter. It's not the AP that makes or breaks the relationship, its the WS.

I couldn't agree more. I truly understand that it's me, the WS, that holds all the cards. Thank you for the post link. This was the one I was referring to. Much appreciated. I know it's me I have to fix and am working on me everyday. Dr. Phil and other self-help books have become my friends and doing some introspection by journaling, IC/MC, and pondering. Thank you for the kind words.

[This message edited by SheHatesMe at 7:43 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]