Topic: What is the worst thing you have done out of anger?
Member # 40473
| Posted: 4:11 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
So we are trying to reconcile and he says he's committed. We are seeing a chaplain for counseling and everything. The issue is that he still acts selfish and I don't feel he is trying hard enough. So last night I got mad because he was acting like he didn't care and i left the house. I expected him to stop me and when he didn't I got upset. Soooo I took his car keys and hid them. He had to get a co-worker from another state over to drive him to work. I feel he had had no consequences for anything he had done and every time he acts selfish I end up letting it go. I never kicked him out when I found out about his several flings. I lost my job as a result of many things he has done but he still has his. Anyone else acted out of anger. Result? Do you regret it?
Posts: 1 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 35417
| Posted: 4:18 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I don't really know what all I said to my husband on dday.
I think I called him a pervert, sick, repulsive, etc., etc., etc.
I don't know because I can't really remember the few weeks surrounding that day.
But, yes, I do regret it. Any time I say something so mean merely out of fear or anger, etc, I think it is the wrong thing to do.
However, I'm not sure how I could have made a different decision. I think I sort of lost my mind.
(For the record, I also threw a tv.)
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
Posts: 2470 | Registered: Apr 2012
Member # 38732
| Posted: 4:20 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I took his deer head off the wall and tried to throw it outside. I texted the OW behind his back. I threw my wedding ring at his head, missed, and it's bent from hitting the door. And I hit him.
None of it was ok. What he did wasn't ok. But what I did out of anger and hurt wasn't either. I've apologized.
Me: 37 BS
Him: 38 WH
M: 11 years, T: 17
Status: In MC/R, Retrouvaille graduates
I'm not what I ought to be. I'm not what I want to be. I'm not what I hope to be. But thank God, I'm not what I used to be.
Posts: 43 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Limbo
Member # 24416
| Posted: 4:22 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
On the real D-day, when he finally admitted the PA, I lunged at him and hit him over and over. I cut above his eyebrow with my wedding ring. (fitting, huh?) He just sat there and took it. I have never done anything like that in my life.
2 year LTA-double betrayal, D-day 1-26-2009 and many months of TT.
Married 27 years. Together 29.
3 children 24, 21, 14
OW sex addict and romance addict according to MC. WH just your ordinary asshole.
Posts: 1673 | Registered: Jun 2009
Member # 34755
| Posted: 4:25 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Burned his clothes in the driveway the morning after our second DDay.
I also smashed the watch AP#2 gave him as a gift for his birthday that he wore for years that he'd told me his employees gave him as a group gift. I smashed it on the driveway with a hammer, picked up the pieces, put it in a zip lock bag and mailed it to the AP with a letter.
I also threw a remote at the wall during the conversation where he told me about the rest of his AP's on DDay2. Not him, the wall, completely away from him.
I never reacted towards him physically. Verbally, yes, but I have no memory of what I said to him really. Those few weeks are a blur.
BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 30817
| Posted: 4:38 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Backed over his Blackberry with my car.
Which was strangely resilient, so I had to take a sledgehammer to it in order to finish it off.
2 ddays in '07
"The cure for the pain, is the pain." -Rumi
Posts: 7635 | Registered: Jan 2011
Member # 39214
| Posted: 4:41 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
burned all his clothing three days ago, and a lot more i rather not say
I'M ON THE FENCE
Posts: 278 | Registered: May 2013
Member # 38622
| Posted: 4:49 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I punched through a wall in rage when I found my WW at my house after we seperated and her AP was sitting on my couch. I also called her a Whore, a piece of shit tramp, I told him I hope he is happy and they both make his mom proud that they destroyed a family, she turned her back on her kids and left me to raise them while she was out fucking him. I told him he was a worthless piece of shit and he was lucky I care to much about keeping my kids to beat the crap out of him. I looked at my WW face and told her the saddest part of all this is you are looking at me and I know you are still in love with me. I asked for my keys back and told them both to fuck off. I don't regret a minute of it. I don't regret a word I said. I am glad I didn't lay a finger on him that day. Shortly after he broke up with her and told her I wasn't a bad person and the stuff she told him about me didn't sound true. So yeah that was my angry outburst. Thanks for the post you got my blood pumping hahahaha
M 6 Yrs
Posts: 332 | Registered: Mar 2013
Member # 35215
| Posted: 4:58 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I threw his iphone at his face while asleep to wake him up with the wonderful news I had just found at 5 am
I have also hit him on 2 occasions. I have addressed this in IC and still discuss it even with WH and how wrong it was.
My WH had a nice collection of glass smoking pieces that I shattered.
I have called him everything you can think of
It's pretty bad
BS/FWS (me):42 Madhatter
WS/BS:45 Serial Cheater
Together 20 years, Married 15
DDay(s) Too many to count
Final Dday 7/11/14 Same OW2
In Limbo, WH is unremorseful
"Never seek validation from those who are unworthy."
Posts: 3575 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: California
Member # 38020
| Posted: 4:58 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
One time, when we were arguing, I told him that I don't understand why he would think anyone would want to have sex with him, that he is completely inadequate (if you know what I mean) and that he is lousy in bed. Of course I said it out ofanger and didn't mean it but it didn't help with his confidance, or with our sex life. He still asks me if I meant what I said. :(
I have been cheated on by 3 different men, and I have more DDays than anyone ever should. I am here, just trying to pickup the pieces.
"What did you expect? I am a scorpion."
Posts: 879 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 39734
| Posted: 5:03 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I threw a remote, not at him, but I was in such a rage that it did hit him. above the eye, split it wide open. He had to have stitches and he sported a black eye with the eyeball being blood red for a month. I felt horrible about it. I have apologized and he forgave me(he actually said he deserved it), his parents will never forgive me for it. However, he got nothing but "I'm disappointed in you" from his dad and not a word about what he did from his mom.
Together 11 1/2
Me~ 3 kids, 21,17,14
A with a mutual "friend" for 2+yrs
He confessed 9/9/12
A was over 2/12
7/13~ Happier than we have been in yrs!
Posts: 240 | Registered: Jul 2013
Member # 26854
| Posted: 5:17 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I smacked him across the face three times. Not something I am proud of. I threw a phone at him. I woke him up numerous times in the middle of his sleep to call him rotten things.
Then I would apologize and do the same thing next time!
DDay - 11/4/09
EA/PA with childhood sweetheart/ kissed
R - 11/25/09
Life is not a dress rehearsal
Posts: 1667 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Northeast
Member # 30314
| Posted: 5:22 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
right hooked him with his Blackberry in my hand when I found out. Like others here, I had never done anything like this before. I had NEVER witnessed anything violent like this between my parents or anyone!
What I wanted to do - sell his affair car out from under him - I have the keys and am on the title - bought him the Batmobile and parked it at the bank where he works. My God, people would have talked.
I have acted out immaturely for sure - after the first DDay I had my AP's number ready to call on my phone and showed it to my husband. I didnt' call... but it wasn't smart or healthy...
[This message edited by rachelc at 5:22 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]
Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 40475
| Posted: 6:26 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I do not get violent and , when I finally knew the extent of his last EA after weeks of trickle-truth, I got upset, but I did not yell as my 20yr old was in the house. I showed him what I had of the cell phone bill and told him he was a lying liar who lied and a hypocrite and went upstairs to be alone and think, which I couldn't really do anyway.
The reason I called him a hypocrite was when the boys were young my H was super strict with them and lying was the biggest offence. He took it personally when they would try to lie their way out of something and consequences were much worse when they did, rather than just tell the truth.
Calling him a hypocrite was the most truthful and cutting thing I could think of that day.
I am too practical to run over or sledge hammer his phone, but I wish I had, even it if meant the $200 to replace it. It would have felt good and not really hurt anyone.
[This message edited by PamJ at 6:29 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]
Me: BS 50+
Him: WH 60
2 grown sons, 1 grown step-son
Last DDay, March 19, 2013 after a few weeks of TT- trying to have a new marriage after almost 35 years.
No more chances.
Posts: 56 | Registered: Aug 2013
Member # 38116
| Posted: 6:34 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Too many things.
I've hit him several times. Threw his phone at him. Called him every name in the book.
I called & texted his OW - calling her every name I could think of.
Told her she was classless and a whore.
I'm not proud of anything I've done. Embarrassed really but I had good reason.
BS - 32
DDay 1: July 2012 - EA with COW
DDay 2: March 2015; same COW
Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, pack your shit and get out.
Fool me twice, now what?!?!
Posts: 387 | Registered: Jan 2013
Member # 33867
| Posted: 6:56 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
If it could be said, I said it. I called him every name in the book.
My rage lasted 2 years so there was a lot of anger released by me.
I made him take me to the cheap motel where he had sex, had him walk me to the room where it happened (which allowed me to point out the urine smell and garbage along the walkway-OMG, a dump...and he hold an exec management position in a major company!). I asked him to go into the lobby and get a key so he could show me the inside. As he walked to the entrance I hopped into my car and drove off...leaving him to find his way home (20 miles).
took a black sharpie and wrote on the back of so many of his Polo shirts:
"I'm a POS who fucked a woman who is NOT my wife"
I regret NOTHING. He deserved it.
ME: 55 BS
HIM: 63 WH
Married: 30 years
in R 5+ years and it's working but he is putting 200% into it (as he should) to make it right again.
The truth hurts, but I have never seen it cause the pain that lies do.
Posts: 2332 | Registered: Nov 2011
Member # 39803
| Posted: 7:40 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Is it wrong for me to vicariously enjoy reading these? I feel pretty tame! I threw a book and a mostly empty soda can. (!)
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
Posts: 3214 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Member # 39588
| Posted: 7:46 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I threw my polar pop at his car - missed and ended up hitting my SUV.
I am sure I said some mean things that first week after Dday but I was honestly in my own fog and don't remember much other than the initial confession.
Me (BS): 36
Him aka narcissistic psychopath (WS): 36
Married 17 years 6 kids ages 16-7
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013
Finally this is R 8/14/13
Filed for divorce 5/8/15
Posts: 326 | Registered: Jun 2013
Member # 30314
| Posted: 7:59 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
I'm with bionic gal- these are fun to read!
Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
Member # 35862
| Posted: 8:22 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013|
Let's see...I slapped H across the face once, burned all his boxers, listed OW name on a cheaters website (if you Google her name it comes up), went to the bank and got $100 in one dollar bills and wrote "For a good time call OW phone number". We live in a small town, im sure she has seen it
I also couldn't eat anything after I found out and after two days passed out. Scared H silly.
Me: BS H: WS
DD #1 7-11-08
DD#2 8-21-09 same OW, A never ended.
Started R in 12-09
"If what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I should be able to bench press a Buick."
Posts: 869 | Registered: Jun 2012
|Topic Posts: 75|