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strawblond30 (original poster member #6263) posted at 11:36 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
Ok here is my deal I haven't told my IC about us becoming swingers , my stupid idea so he wouldn't cheat . I hated it refused most of the time and felt traded for sex and in all honestly I was. Since I wasn't into it 100% cus I didn't like it and always only wanted him. Should I tell IC or it don't matter!!
Divorced 2013 after several years of infidelity on both sides. Remarried July 2018 my new husband Is opposite from Ex. I can actually breath with out worrying what he is doing. Living my best life now .
gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 11:42 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 11:49 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I do tell everything. If I am not honest with myself and my IC, my time and hers are wasted.
You can call me NIK
And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane
Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 11:54 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
My story is similar to yours. When we were together we told our MC everything. After STBXWW ceased therapy, I have continued in IC with the same therapist and tell her absolutely everything. That is what a good therapist is there for: don't hold back. Let it all out. It is cathartic.
All the best.
Divorced April Fool's Day 2014
Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune
Ashland13 ( member #38378) posted at 11:55 PM on Wednesday, August 28th, 2013
I tell everything.
That's why I'm going and paying all that money and I don't feel authentic otherwise...feels wasted, instead.
If you are judged or don't like the reply, you could always get another one.
Sometimes nothing we try to do is going to keep someone from cheating-it's not on us to try to keep it altogether, but on each one of us, responsibility, that is.
I'm sorry you were compromised and hope you won't anymore. Stick to what you believe in and be true to yourself!
Ashland 13
A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess
Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.
-George Washington
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 12:41 AM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
Yes. You tell everything. Every embarrassing, shameful thing.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 2:15 AM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
Everything. You are trying to heal yourself, but your not being authentic to the one person who can guide you towards healing.
Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 2:51 AM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
Absolutely tell. My IC is seriously the only reason I made it through the separation, the false R, and the final split. Seriously.
If you can't be honest with your IC maybe you need to find a different one?
divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...
Phoenix9572 ( member #39987) posted at 3:23 AM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
Yes! That's the only way they are going to be able to help you put all the puzzle pieces back together and help you be whole and strong again. Plus, you can almost bet that they have heard it all and more before you sat down in their office.
Me - 40
WH - 42
Married 18 years
kids - 14, 12
DD - May 13, 2013
DD2 - Aug 4, 2013
DD3 - Aug 27, 2013
Status - Legally separated; really wanted R but don't think that is possible anymore
Gr8Lady ( member #36307) posted at 3:45 AM on Thursday, August 29th, 2013
Open your heart, the truth will set you free.
BS: Me (70yo)FWH: HIM (72 yo)) serial infidelities over past 35 years
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2013
friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.
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