"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

BrowneyesTurnBlu posted 8/28/2013 17:54 PM

Our wedding anniversary is on Saturday. My WH made reservations at this beautiful restaurant. When he told me what restaurant, I got upset because he had sent the OW a link to this restaurant and when I questioned him about it after dday he told me that he was thinking about inviting her there. They never went out anywhere just met at the office twice and her place three times. I am really torn about wanting to go there and not wanting to because he thought, even though he didn't, take her there.

Any thoughts?

Ostrich80 posted 8/28/2013 18:02 PM

I personally wouldn't want to go there but that's just me. If the restaurant and the thought of her connected, I just wouldn't want to go there.

Ashland13 posted 8/28/2013 18:05 PM

I wouldn't want to go, either.

I would want a fresh start, something memory-free for everybody.

Phoenix9572 posted 8/28/2013 21:11 PM

Heck there are 2 cities I never want to go to because thats where WH had his ONS. So I don't blame you for not wanting to go to that restaurant.
On the flip side, I'm not sure where you are in the process of R but if you feel like things are in a good place you could go there and claim it as your own. Remove OW from the picture with your own good memory.
I really like the idea of eventually taking back some of the places that have been tainted and not letting the place or OW have power over me any more.

RockyMtn posted 8/28/2013 21:13 PM

I wouldn't go.

But lots of people reclaim places or things that were involved in the affair. So, if you really want this restaurant to be "yours" - then take it.

Just know that the first time there might be triggery as all hell. Usually, reclaiming takes some time. Be sure you're ready for that on your anni.

BrowneyesTurnBlu posted 8/29/2013 20:36 PM

Thank you for your replies. My WH and I have been to this restaurant a few times already. He did not take her there at all. He didn't even ask her. It is just the thought that he was going to...I don't even think the A would have lasted that long but who knows. My WH has cancelled the reservations because he knew that it upset me. Maybe down the road I will be able to go back there because it truly is a great restaurant.

ladies_first posted 8/30/2013 07:17 AM

it truly is a great restaurant.

The restaurant didn't commit adultery with your WH.

Treat it like any other decision to dine out:
*How is the food?
*Can you afford to dine there?
*How is the service?

Don't make your world smaller just because OW is alive on the planet.

[This message edited by ladies_first at 7:17 AM, August 30th (Friday)]