Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying
Welcome

Forums

Guidelines

Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library

Media

Contact Us
lies
cover
In Association with Amazon.com
Support
Infidelity -
-

SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
[Register]
Newest Member: Dilbert (46033)

User Topic: How to deal with lawyer & settlement
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 7:48 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So last week I went to court ordered settlement. I have received via mail the handwritten agreement. There are some things wrong and I have some issues. Here is my letter to my lawyer. Any thoughts? I am actually pretty damn furious. Along with this paperwork is another bill for $1,000!

There are several issues that need to be resolved. At the court date, Lawyer you wrote the Stipulation and Agreement and asked me to sign based on the verbal conversations. At no time did you allow me to read the paperwork you wrote. There are some things that are wrong.

1) Home to be listed June 1, 2015. Not before.

2)In the room when you(lawyer) were rushing to have me go into to court you said that I would agree to cooperate with DS counselor. I said I would agree for DS to continue to see counselor. That is all. I will not agree to any reports or letters. I will review any requested items and determine at that time what is in the best interest of DS.

3)On the child support and spousal support it says beginning on 9/1/2013 payment. But does that mean he pays on the first of the month? Currently he has been paying on the 17th. I need clarification. Also DS turns 18 in June. Will I receive child support for 6/2015?

4)Is this paperwork enough to get my name changed or do I have to wait for the official document?

I really don't know how to explain my distress over a couple of things. I feel as though you were not looking out for my best interest on a couple of items.

A) I was under the impression that I would be in one room and STBXH would be in another. That is how it started. Then after a while you proceeded to barge in with all of your items and tell me STBXH and his lawyer were meeting with us because we were so close. I was under distress the minute STBXH walked into the room and you should have been able to see that by the times I had to leave the room! I can not function with him anywhere near me.

B)You took it upon yourself to agree for no lawyer fees from STBXH. Again. I am in a different room because I can't deal with him. You write everything up tell me you agreed to it "because he is paying debt" Did you even try to get funds from STBXH? At no time did you come and ask me what I wanted!

C)You agree to write up the final paperwork and then charge me for it, not even getting any funds from STBXH.

Please see that items 1 & 2 are corrected, answer items 3 & 4. Please tell me how you plan on correcting the fact that STBXH is not paying part of my share of the lawyer fees?


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 834 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 7:51 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As an addendum, they want $1,000 in their trust fund at all times. I feel as though I should tell them I will pay a total of $500 more and that is it. Either they get it done or not.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 834 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Must Survive
♀ 34533
Member # 34533
Default  Posted: 8:26 PM, August 28th (Wednesday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Ok, can you tell I am upset. It says at the bottom of this damn form "I have read the entire stipulation and agreement consisting of 4 pages. I understand it fully and request that this stipulation and agreement be incorporated by the court as its order. I agree that the court will reserve jurisdiction over all matters before teh court not resolved by this agreement. I understand that willful failure to comply with the provisions of this order may constitute contempt of court and may be punished by fine and/or imprisonment. I waive any and all rights to formal notice of this order.

Realistically am I screwed? I can deal with the house and let STBXH take me to court over not allowing DS counselor send reports to child custody when DS was promised everything he said to counselor was private.

STBXH thinks that DS will magically want to see him more if there is a report? That he will force custody at 16?


And as for the $ lawyer. I am thinking that I will not pay anymore $, based on the fact that he did not get STBXH to pay for anymore. I will point out that the divorce is finished, and any remaining things, I will do.

It feels like infidelity and divorce are the gifts that keep on giving.


Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." Daenerys Targaryen


Posts: 834 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
movingforward13
♀ 38405
Member # 38405
Default  Posted: 7:55 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

No idea, just sending you *hugs*


Once a cheater, always a cheater happens when your cheater doesn't have remorse.
Regret is not remorse- know the difference!

Posts: 645 | Registered: Feb 2013 | From: DC
roughroadahead
♀ 36060
Member # 36060
Default  Posted: 10:30 PM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your L works for you. If you don't agree, speak up. As for whether you're screwed, is this a draft you're reviewing or a copy of something your L filed?

If it is a draft, mark it up and give it back to him/her with your questions and concerns. You're paying for him/her, make sure you understand. It could be that certain provisions (perhaps the allocation of fees, for example) are subject to certain rules or case law in your state, so your L has to do it a certain way. S/he should communicate that, though. Lawyers get busy and rushed and sometimes they suck at explaining things. This is your D, not his/hers. Don't let them rush you (there are court deadlines and such, so you can't miss those... again, your L or his/her secretary can let you know that). Since you will be paying for the time to go over it, try and narrow it down to what the most pressing issues are and then call your L or make an appt to see them. Email can be lost in the shuffle. Be assertive. The lawyer acts on your behalf.

As for the bill, the standard in my state is "reasonable and customary". You should pay it. Your L could sue you otherwise.


BS-Me 30s
WS-Him 30s
D-Day 4/2012 (Insisted EA only)
D-Day 5/2012 (Did I say EA? Ummm..)
Numerous other TT/broken NC d-days until S 1/2013. D settled 11/2013
MOW-coworker, 40s.
2 DS and DD all w/autism

Posts: 739 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: USA
Topic Posts: 5

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
adultry
madness  
© 2002 - 2014 SurvivingInfidelity.com. All Rights Reserved.