Tonight, I'm sitting here in tears. No, not because of him. My mom has cancer, and can't get anybody to schedule the tests/biopsy she needs to get things moving. I spent the day with her, and she is so upset; I've known for a week, and I've been ok, but tonight I researched the hospital she wants to go to, and sent her the referral form to try and force things to happen...I hit sent, and now I'm crying. I'm just so scared for her. And for me.
Edited to add, because I'm upset about my mom, not it being my anniversary, I do feel like lashing out at him. Saying I wish I had married a man, not the child that he is. I won't, but right now, I really wish I had someone to lean on. If he wasn't such an ass, it would have been him. Gah.
[This message edited by devistatedmom at 7:54 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than, less than perfect
You both are in my prayers.
This is it. The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what we're made of, you and I.
- The Doctor
I understand so well what you are feeling. My mom passed from cancer, 13 days after my anniversary, while POS was in the middle of A#2 so he wasn't emotionally available for me either. Waiting is one of the hardest things to do because you just want them to do SOMETHING to help her. Be her rock as best you can, and know you are not alone. Prayers for your mom and you!
One thing I learned is that you have to be VERY proactive - almost bitchy - to get things rolling with some medical places. I know they're busy, but (as usual) the squeaky wheel gets the attention. I had to get VERY snarky with the oncologists to get them on top of my dad's situation. He was elderly, and it was almost like they all figured it didn't matter because he was in his 80's.
Well, it mattered to ME, and to him, and I had to chew some ass to get the ball rolling. Don't be afraid to rock the boat.....but when they DO finally get off theirs collective butts, be extra nice.
Once the oncology people knew that I could be a bitch on wheels if they slacked, but I was very accommodating if they put in the effort...we got along just fine.
Once again, I'm praying for your mom, and for you. It's a very scary thing to have to go through. I hope like hell you can get them to act, and act soon.
God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to
change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me.
She called her GP's secretary, told her she sent it to the wrong place, send it to this number...within 20 min, she has her appointments for a CT scan on Wednesday, and her biopsy the following Monday. They want the CT scan first. So, if she hadn't of kept calling different numbers until she got someone, she would have been an anxiety mess all long weekend. She sounded much better.
At least we have our starting point now.
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.