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devistatedmom posted 8/28/2013 19:50 PM

20 years ago at this time, I was toasting my new marriage.

Tonight, I'm sitting here in tears. No, not because of him. My mom has cancer, and can't get anybody to schedule the tests/biopsy she needs to get things moving. I spent the day with her, and she is so upset; I've known for a week, and I've been ok, but tonight I researched the hospital she wants to go to, and sent her the referral form to try and force things to happen...I hit sent, and now I'm crying. I'm just so scared for her. And for me.

Edited to add, because I'm upset about my mom, not it being my anniversary, I do feel like lashing out at him. Saying I wish I had married a man, not the child that he is. I won't, but right now, I really wish I had someone to lean on. If he wasn't such an ass, it would have been him. Gah.

[This message edited by devistatedmom at 7:54 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]

inconnu posted 8/28/2013 19:54 PM

(((dm))) I sure wish those could be irl hugs, sweetie. I'll keep your mom and you in my thoughts.

Williesmom posted 8/28/2013 20:21 PM

((Dm)). Sending thoughts.

gma56 posted 8/28/2013 20:26 PM

(((DM and Mom)))

You both are in my prayers.

devistatedmom posted 8/28/2013 20:45 PM

Thanks. Typing it out helped. I'm back together now. I just wish she would get her appointments so things are moving forward. This waiting sucks.

wildbananas posted 8/28/2013 22:30 PM

(((dm and mama)))

nowiknow23 posted 8/28/2013 22:35 PM

(((((dm & mom))))) I so understand this, honey. Sending you both strength.

Phoenix1 posted 8/29/2013 00:29 AM


I understand so well what you are feeling. My mom passed from cancer, 13 days after my anniversary, while POS was in the middle of A#2 so he wasn't emotionally available for me either. Waiting is one of the hardest things to do because you just want them to do SOMETHING to help her. Be her rock as best you can, and know you are not alone. Prayers for your mom and you!

exhausted lady posted 8/29/2013 02:59 AM

devistatedmom.....I just lost my dad to cancer. You and your mom are soooo in my prayers right now.

One thing I learned is that you have to be VERY proactive - almost bitchy - to get things rolling with some medical places. I know they're busy, but (as usual) the squeaky wheel gets the attention. I had to get VERY snarky with the oncologists to get them on top of my dad's situation. He was elderly, and it was almost like they all figured it didn't matter because he was in his 80's.

Well, it mattered to ME, and to him, and I had to chew some ass to get the ball rolling. Don't be afraid to rock the boat.....but when they DO finally get off theirs collective butts, be extra nice.

Once the oncology people knew that I could be a bitch on wheels if they slacked, but I was very accommodating if they put in the effort...we got along just fine.

Once again, I'm praying for your mom, and for you. It's a very scary thing to have to go through. I hope like hell you can get them to act, and act soon.

tryingagain74 posted 8/29/2013 06:53 AM

(((dm and mom)))

Griefstricken25 posted 8/29/2013 08:40 AM

(((DM))). Praying for you and your mum.

Lola2kids posted 8/29/2013 10:18 AM

What hospital?
I have sisters that work in the big hospitals in downtown Toronto.
I'm so sorry to hear this news.
If I can help in any way please don't hesitate to ask.

lostmommy posted 8/29/2013 14:40 PM

((((dm and mom))))

hill posted 8/29/2013 14:54 PM

Exhausted lady- devistatedmom is in Canada. The Canadian medical system is much slower than in the US, unfortunately...


devistatedmom posted 8/30/2013 16:37 PM

My mom broke down on the phone again this morning; still no appointments for her biopsy and the CT scan being moved up. She was beyond upset. I've been talking to her each day, "pushing" her to keep bugging, call, find out what is what. She managed to get a hold of someone at the hospital today where the requisition was sent, who actually looked it up in the computer system...the req was sent to the wrong department. If she hadn't of pushed, she would have been waiting forever.

She called her GP's secretary, told her she sent it to the wrong place, send it to this number...within 20 min, she has her appointments for a CT scan on Wednesday, and her biopsy the following Monday. They want the CT scan first. So, if she hadn't of kept calling different numbers until she got someone, she would have been an anxiety mess all long weekend. She sounded much better.

At least we have our starting point now.

jo2love posted 8/30/2013 17:36 PM

(((DM and mom)))

gonnabe2016 posted 8/31/2013 00:05 AM

All of my best wishes are with you and your mom.....

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