Here is the handwritten "contract" he gave to me tonight. This comes after I asked him last night why so much of his cash expenditures were labeled as "miscellaneous." (e.g., $300 out of a $400 ATM withdrawal was "miscellaneous.")
I filed for D in June; court date is set for Sep. He says he wants to R, so I am watching to see what he does. We are in in-house separation now.
Here it goes:
1. In order to rebuild trust, I will commit to a monthly polygraph test for the next 6 months. If these tests are positive, meaning "no deception," tests will be every 2 months for an additional 1 year. If "no deception" in these tests, testing will end at the end of that year (approximately the end of 2014).
2. I will continue to see (CSAT) and follow his treatment plan, in whatever form he recommends. You will continue to have access to him to report on our meetings and progress, but he is my therapist, not you.
3. I will terminate my facebook account.
4. I will continue to keep receipts for all cash transactions and will minimize cash transactions to the greatest extent possible.
5. I will provide you with the password to my personal email account. I will also provide you access to my work email, but not my passwords to my work devices.
In exchange for items 1 through 5 above:
(a) You will refrain from giving me the third degree about cash spending, travel, email correspondence and any alleged misconduct.
(b) We will continue the court hearing until Jan 2014, unless either of us decides that our differences are irreconcilable, at which time a new (and earlier) date may be _____???
(c) You will reduce your therapy to 2 sessions per week for September and October and to one session per week beginning in November.
(d) I will seek to break the lease on my condo as soon as possible.
(e) I will be permitted to: (1) travel to ______ for 3 days in September to meet with (6 guys names) at ____'s home and (2) travel to Las Vegas in October to meet with (5 guys, including all the guys from the "cheating" Vegas trip).
Additional items:
1. No home repair or improvement activities will be pursued or undertaken without prior discussion and mutual agreement (i.e., no calling for door repairs without first consulting each other).
2. Cleaning lady will be reduced to 2 times per month.
3. Our son's counseling will be re-evaluated to determine if the current schedule is overdoing it, with the goal of reducing paid counseling to $250 per month.
[This message edited by numbandnauseous at 11:45 PM, August 28th (Wednesday)]