It's a terrible thing to be betrayed Ifeltitinmyheart. My WW of 7 years had an EA with a co-worker. I also work at the same place.
I too, felt for months something was wrong and asked her many times "What is wrong?" Always the same answer, "Nothing, and I love you." You knew too. That is why you drove over there even after you had arrived home. I put off checking our cell phone bill for several months, either not believing it was happening or maybe I didn't want to know.
You need to take some time for yourself. Think if he is, or the relationship is, worth salvaging. It is terrible, and a poor excuse for him to say, I felt like I couldn't make you happy. So, he Carries on with another woman to address the situation. My WW thought I didn't love her anymore. And that she was soooo unhappy. Again, poor excuses. Cheating can never be justified.
I would take some serious time for yourself, address your needs, and then talk to him if you want to.
If you feel like he is a good man, is truly remorseful, gives you total transparency, maybe counseling if you feel the need, and still proceed with caution. Keep yourself guarded. He not only cheated and lied to you, but, he also lied to the woman at the house. Said he wasn't in a relationship. That, in of itself is painful.
Be strong for yourself, get some rest, eat and drink plenty of water. If you decide to work on the relationship, it should be strictly on your terms.
I too, am new at this. My WW at first was terrible at being remorseful, helping me heal, and kept dodging my questions. Lots of lies at first. I believe she was in a fog. Just recently she started to respond how I needed her to respond. She is now showing what I believe to be true remorse. My point is to take it slow, watch his reactions, give both of you the time needed to work it out if YOU choose to.
I hope this helps. The hurt and pain is a lot to bear. I still have sleepless nights, the shakes, and panic attacks. One day at a time.
Dday #2-08/15/13 discovered 2nd phone
Trying to reconcile
[This message edited by Smokehouse at 5:14 AM, August 29th (Thursday)]