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Newest Member: Wontbebitter (61828)

User Topic: Stupid cheaters at work
♀ 40437
Member # 40437
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I just walked into the kitchen at work to get some coffee and get an eyeful of one married co-worker patting the ass of another married co-worker. And if that's not enough they're discussing their kids (the ones they have with their spouses) and their spouses and schedules presumably trying to figure out their next rendezvous time. Took everything to not hit them in the head with my coffee mug and scream at them for being selfish, delusional assheads. WTF?

And at work? Really? And next to the coffee machine!!! I'm averaging 2-3 hours a sleep at night and am a major coffee person so that shit pisses me off double. Has anyone gone off on other people they knew were having affairs? Friends or co-workers?

Posts: 110 | Registered: Aug 2013
♂ 40199
Member # 40199
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 1987 or '88 I fired two employees (both married) when I found out they were having an affair.

I told them if their spouses couldn't trust them then neither could I as an employer.

Me–BS age 61
Her -- WS age 59
Married for 34 years
One child, 30yrs

Her 'A' 1994(?) through 1998
D-Day 7/4/2013 Yes, I didn't find out for almost 15 years... but the pain is just as bad as if she were with him last week.

Posts: 160 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Near Houston Texas
♀ 40437
Member # 40437
Default  Posted: 9:58 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I like it!

Posts: 110 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 39996
Member # 39996
Default  Posted: 10:05 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I can no longer tolerate anyone who is exhibiting adultery behaviour. I speak up often and tell them how much A hurts everyone involved..


Me: BS 50
Hubby: WH 53
Together: 32 years
Married: 25 years 09/10/2013
2 boys: 23&21
Dday: 09/11/2012
A length: 4+ years (yes years)
status: Ongoing Reconciliation :o)

Through thick and thin we will survive but he gets only one shot at it!

Posts: 605 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: CDN
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 10:37 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was fairly new at my current job, and was having lunch in the breakroom, and one of the younger girls was talking about her H and her boyfriend. I had to throw my lunch away it was so disgusting. I also said something to the effect of you should probably stop and think about the number of people who you are causing pain an grief before bragging about having a boyfriend and a husband. I walked out. She now avoids me like the plague, and luckily, I don't have to work with her in any way.

Just Yuck.
I am sorry that you had to witness that. It may be nice to let their spouses know whats up though....

Him: FWS
Kids: 18 & 20
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

Posts: 13422 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ 39588
Member # 39588
Default  Posted: 10:49 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My H is the boss and thankfully work is the one place I can trust him. *sigh*

His employee was talking about her assistant pastor who recently told his pregnant wife he was having an affair. I was soooo angry, wanted to go punch this guy then give his wife a giant hug.

Me (BS): 36
Him aka narcissistic psychopath (WS): 36
Married 17 years 6 kids ages 16-7
DDay #1 (EA) July '08
DDay #2 (EA/ONS- different OW) May 15, 2013

Finally this is R 8/14/13

Filed for divorce 5/8/15

Posts: 326 | Registered: Jun 2013
♀ 39971
Member # 39971
Default  Posted: 10:59 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's awful!!
I had a colleague who was having an affair with our boss. Her H worked at same company in a different section. It was awful- I felt so sorry for her H. Boss and Ho-worker wouldnt care if anyone saw their secretive PDAs. Just Yuck!! Ho-worker's H punched him in the face one day in the lunch room. He got a round of applause.
Boss left to work elsewhere soon after. Ho-worker moved on to two more married men.
H divorced ho-worker and she couldn't understand why...

Me BS (41)
Him WH (45). EA and possible PA (denied)
D Day 7/21/2013
M 8 years - filing for D

**The cruelest lies are often told in silence- Robert Louis Stevenson

Posts: 115 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: New Zealand
♀ 14576
Member # 14576
Default  Posted: 11:01 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

In 1987 or '88 I fired two employees (both married) when I found out they were having an affair.
I told them if their spouses couldn't trust them then neither could I as an employer.

Where's that applause guy?

Me - 52; FWH - 54
Married 34 years 9/2/17
2 grown daughters-33 & 30
8yo GS,4yo GD & 3yo. GD (DD33) and 5 yo GD & 1 yo GD(DD30). D-day #1 - 1/06; D-day #2 - 3/07
Reconciled! Construction Complete.

Posts: 6242 | Registered: May 2007
Member # 39162
Default  Posted: 11:25 AM, August 29th (Thursday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

tirednconfused-Good on you,that's a great attitude and a great way to handle it!As so many affairs are conducted or at least started at work,lots of people must see or at least suspect inappropriate behaviour between their co-workers.Wouldn't take much to either have a quiet word,or contact the BS to let them know of suspicious behaviour.Anonymously if they want,but could nip a lot of affairs in the bud.After all,if we trust our spouses,and we're not there with them all day,it would be a great kindness for somebody to have the guts to do this.

Me - BW (54)
Him - fWS (61)
kiddies - daughters 22 and 27,son 22,
d-day - April 18 2012
15 years on/off LTA
R - but lots of bumps in the long road

Posts: 310 | Registered: May 2013 | From: uk
♀ 21925
Member # 21925
Default  Posted: 7:16 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A word of caution: I had 2 skanky couples carrying on during my anger phase. I mouthed off my displeasure to coworkers. It almost got me fired because I don't know skank #1 was good friends with the top guy.

BS 43 (me)
FWH 48
D-day 9/07

Dont retreat, reload.
"Pull that knife out of your back - and sever the fuel line to that bus you got thrown under" Bufffalo

Posts: 1034 | Registered: Dec 2008
♀ 28997
Member # 28997
Default  Posted: 7:21 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


Love it!!!!

[This message edited by Laura28 at 7:25 AM, August 30th (Friday)]

Married 33yrs Me BW 59Yrs Him FWH 62yrs
OWzero 1988 EA?/PA? Gaslighted.
Dday May 28 2010.
OW1 1994(6mths PA, EA 16+ years).
OW2 2002(8yrs PA).
OW3 2009(1Yr PA).
Others???? Status: Not Divorcing..but.."You can't unfuck the goat"

Posts: 2772 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: Australia
♀ 40437
Member # 40437
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Actually the BW in my story called the lab the "ho-worker" (I love that) works in and told her boss and spoke to all of her lab mates to tell them. It clearly didn't phase them or how they carry on at work. It's like they just don't care or think it's a big deal to be having affairs with married co-workers in front of everyone? I always thought that at're supposed to be Last week I walked into the data center where there are individual work stations for research as well as sofas if someone has experiments going on all hours and needs to be here but also needs some sleep. The two of them were cuddled up next to each other. Really guys?

Posts: 110 | Registered: Aug 2013
♀ 30826
Member # 30826
Default  Posted: 10:42 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

T/j@Laura...HARRY POTTER!!!!

That is all.

Carry on.

FWH 48
4 kids
M: June 2001
D-Day: 8/10/10

..that feeling you get in your stomach, when you heart's broken. It's like all the butterflies just died.

Posts: 15220 | Registered: Jan 2011
♂ 21587
Member # 21587
Default  Posted: 1:37 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

While I was still in R with XW we went to a local club to watch a friend's band play. We knew pretty much everyone there. A husband of one of my XW childhood friends was there dancing fondling and kissing on someone else we went to school together with.

I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him what did he think his wife would say if she saw what he was doing. In a real shitty tone he said why you gonna tell her? I said there is no way she is not going to find out due to who all was there. I of us was going to tell her.

He then pushed me and wanted to fight. I agreed and said that we had to go outside first. On the way to the door my friends stopped him and I and he left.

His wife found out.

BS 38
FWW 37 (fireandice)
Married 13 Years - Together 20
D-Day1:Jan 08 (EA OM#1)
D-Day2:8-15-08 (EA/PA OM#2)
DS12, DS9
Divorced 1-27-11
Remember, you don't drown from being thrown in the water. You drown from staying in it.

Posts: 1024 | Registered: Nov 2008 | From: Ohio
♂ 40268
Member # 40268
Default  Posted: 4:34 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes it is unbelievable how many people are cheating. It's like when you buy a new car everyone has the same car. So I am going on 5 months from d day and still in pain but much better than month one . From the beginning when I first discovered my wife in hotel . one of my best friends, I have only two really best buds that are like brothers I would die for, decided I should not go alone in case I did something stupid( I didn't I am too smart for that) so he came with me. He was there for me from the beginning we are friends 30 years I told him every detail of my life and my wife's infidelity . I cried on his shoulder on day one. I introduced him to his wife of 15 years he was one of the most real , stand up , honest guys I ever met , he has 3 kids one infant , A beautiful home , a wife who loves him since childhood . So one day about a month in I was having a bad day emotionally so he came to pick me up to hang out with him and listen to my crying as a good friend should do but for some reason he thought it was a good time to tell me that I should not be upset because " everyone is doing it" and that he is having a 6 month affair with a married woman who has two kids that he knew from high school he met on Facebook. I fucking got so angry and disappointed I felt like it was a whole betrayal again , I actually picked up the phone to call his wife that night but I chickened out . I was dumbfounded and things haven't been the same , I cut him off after 30 years , no talk or contact or visits to his home . I will not bring my kids there. It might be wrong of me but I choose how to live my life and I choose not to be around people like this But it is getting harder and harder because although it is the dumbest statement it seems to be true , at least where I am from. Everyone is doing it. Well I am not a follower never was. Always a leader and that is me. Ok got that rant out. Thanks!

"respect? you don't deserve it, you won't get any from me unless you earn it"

Posts: 1028 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: nyc
♂ 40507
Member # 40507
Default  Posted: 5:30 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So why not send anonymous snail mail or email to the spouses of the cheaters? Perhaps with a linkmto here or a site that explains how to catch a cheater...

WIfe email EA. DDay 03-0-2013 758A OM was a half literate hillbilly ex.

Posts: 21 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: E US
♀ 30803
Member # 30803
Default  Posted: 5:50 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I second the motion to being careful what you say to whom.

Almost 20 years ago, back when I was a single working gal, there was one babe who was very open about her affairs. She'd talk incessantly about the 2 extra guys she had on the side. She had the nicest husband. It made me sick.

One day, I'd had enough and told her to not torture me any more with her cheating stories, that I had enough.

Later the same day, I was told by my boss to not be so "judgemental" and to keep my opinions to myself.

Seriously, I couldn't get out of that place fast enough.

So, yes, working with cheaters sucks big time, but be very careful before you complain about it.

(edited because I think faster than I can type)

[This message edited by ExposedNiblet at 5:52 PM, August 30th (Friday)]

Divorced and happy.

Posts: 531 | Registered: Jan 2011 | From: Right Here
Topic Posts: 17

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