Of course I'm crying like a baby at how much he loved his wife. I know that I can't assume, and it most likely wasn't, a "perfect" relationship the entire time. I'm sure he made her cry. I'm sure they screamed at each other at least once. Who knows...maybe they both cheated. But, when you see someone react like that you don't want to think those things happened a lot or at all. It made me sad to know my marriage will never be "perfect" like that. And I don't mean without fighting, arguments, as bad times (at least nothing like an A). It feels like there is a hole in our story. Like I wasn't worthy to have something complete, intact, special, and untainted. I know I am worthy of it. And I know that nothing can be taken back. It feels like I'm missing the middle part of the book of my life. Now that we are reconciling, it does make me feel good to know that I have many, many good years ahead of me that can be wonderful. Hell...we can conceivably have 50 or more years together. But our story doesn't start now. And yes, I can "think" like it does or make this a "new beginning." I just don't think like that. Uggggghhhh...damn cute elderly people and their love stories!!!
Confronted him: 12/22/2011
This is the most difficult thing I've ever done.
Latest DD - April 2013, PA
I am sorry it made you think of everything you have lost in your marriage, TCD.
I didn't really think of my marriage at first. It will be my parents 65th wedding anniversary this September. It made me think of them. Guess what my sweet mama's name is, too? But, then I thought of FWH and me. I feel we will both feel that way when one of us goes to the great beyond, the affair hasn't changed that for us.
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak!" ~ Homer Simpson
ever see those swiffer comericals where the 2 old people talk about their life ? I get the same feeling. I thought , well I bet they didn't cheat on each other. And then I feel sad.
those swiffer comericals where the 2 old people
I bet they didn't cheat on each other.
If I didn't feel that FWH and I could get to a place like these two senior couples are, then WTF am I doing? No, I refuse to believe that we can't be more in love with each other each and every day.
If I can't have the love of my life by my side at the end feeling this way, or I am not by my husband's side feeling this way about him in the end, then I should get a divorce right now, because what is the point of going through all this then?
That is effen' settling and I won't settle for a crap marriage anymore. Rather be alone then settle for less.
It feels like there is a hole in our story. It feels like I'm missing the middle part of the book of my life.
..a '40 year' hole.. the entire book needed a re-write based on the 'new' information!!
Topic: The big hole the A leaves
I read this topic several times before I finally relaized it didn't say what I thought it said. What I read was:
Topic: The big A hole leaves
Sorry for the t/j, I couldn't keep it to myself any longer.