Since I doubt I will be on SI on Labor Day…just wanted to share some happy news.
This Monday, September 2 – FWH and I will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary! We’re taking an extended weekend(a.k.a. “staycation”) and spending time with each other – visiting some local attractions, riding our bikes, taking in a movie & dinner, just doing fun, non-expensive things – and taking some time to spend with the kids and grandkids.
Many wondered why we weren’t going to Hawaii or something like that for such a milestone anniversary. Well, for one, we cannot afford it, and two, it’s just not our cup of tea. We prefer the presence of our own company, and the company of our grown daughters and our beautiful grandchildren. This is the life we always wanted – even back in 1983 when we married. I was 18, he was 20 – but we both wanted the same thing – a family. The conception of my children was no accident or surprise…they were planned and if I had to do it all over again, I would in a New York minute.
Obviously since I am a member of this club, these 30 years haven’t always been easy. FWH’s infidelity began and ended in his 40s (a three-year issue out of 30 years…but it still hurt terribly, especially given our history together) – 20-some years into our marriage – something that completely blindsided me and gave me quite the case of PTSD.
We are fully reconciled, but know that R is a forever process for which we must be grateful every day. Five years ago, at the beginning of R, we renewed our vows on our 25th anniversary. We plan to do the same for our 30th – just a private renewal between he and I. No need for fanfare. We have learned over the years that we’re pretty simple people and he learned that he doesn’t have to impress people to be loved and accepted. Our marriage has definitely been a journey of growing up together and of learning – and some of those “lessons” almost cost us our marriage.
I am one of the lucky ones –as is FWH. My FWH “got it” – went to IC/MC faithfully, did a complete turnaround and I got my husband back – but a better one, because there were some FOO issues (from both sides of our families) for which we both needed guidance so he and I could bond through these instead of letting them tear us apart.
So raise your glasses (with whatever your choice of beverage) – and toast with us!
Lala & Mr. Lala