just FYI, I didn't send that previous post to him. I posted it here so that I wouldn't, but I sure do want to.
This morning I got these two texts:
"I miss my family" and "I know that you really don't like me right now and I am doing my best to stay away but please don't leave me in the dark. I hate not knowing what's on your mind. I love you and I miss the sound of your voice."
awwww, right? [jackass]
The later conversation:
WH: Look I know you don't want to talk to me but when it regards our daughter I would like for you to talk, ok?
Me: I am talking to you when it is in regards to our daughter
WH: Do you hate me?
WH: So are you just going to ignore me until Tuesday?
WH: Do you or not
Me: I was on the phone and I don't know what I feel besides hurt
WH:I know you are and I'm hurting, too, ok? I'm daeling with a lot of shit right now, too, ok?
(side note, he isn't talking in reference to the A, he is talking about the IC he is going to because of PTSD and some childhood trauma that he's never dealt with)
WH: What hurts even worse is the fact that you can't even say that you don't hate me
Me: The fact that you are still making this about you tells me that you aren't ready to talk yet. Don't worry about how I'm feeling, you certainly didn't the past few months
WH: I'm making it about us, don't be one-sided. But you obviously don't care that I'm dealing with a lot either. I get it, you want me to suffer and trust me I am more than you know
Me: I do care, but you thinking that I want you to suffer means you don't get it yet
WH: you know what I'm sorry just forget I said anything. have [daughter]'s stuff packed by 8
WH: I don't know what you're thinking because you are not talking to me
Me: I'm not talking because every time we do it doesn't stay on topic and we don't get anywhere. I am waiting until we have someone to guide us
(I realize I should have ended with something more like: I'm not talking yet because I haven't decided what I want. because that is more true then the staying on topic point)
so, how badly did I break 180? I am so mad at him right now. I thought he was getting it. I thought he was remorseful and actually going to do what needs to be done. But now I just don't see it. I don't think he'll ever get there and it kills me :(