I’ve been through IC to explore my issues (infidelity and my response/grief, FOO…) and feel like I’ve explored enough to understand myself better. I also have come to understand that figuring this all out is a journey and for most issues it rarely is a destination. What I’m having trouble with is what do I do with it all? I see here and other places about healing me. I have done a lot of work understanding things and understanding me and I continue to work on it. I know that the dreaded time is part of the equation. I can’t help but feel like I am missing something though. Are there concrete things you did to work on healing yourself?
me (WW/BS): 48
4 kiddos in mid 20's
“Relax, everything’s out of control” – Adi Da Samraj
I also went to IC and am heading back again. I am finding myself questioning things again. I know going through it all again opens the wounds. I feel I missed something in the early stages after he confessed to his A. I am hoping that this time I heal better. I am not sure what but like you- it must be something. I feel this is a wound that will never heal completely.
IC helped me the most I am going back. I believe as a BS I will need a little extra work. Self confidence and self worth took such a big hit so I am working on thses issues too.
For me, the first few months I was in survival, the next few months were divorcing, keeping him away from us, the stress of no knowing how the D was gonna shape up. Finally, I can see that my mind is clear, I think about all that stuff, too.
me BS 52
him - 46
married 15 years DIVORCED 10 31 12
children - ds15 ds12
I gave a 24hour ultimatum then went to attorney next day
What do you do with it all? You enjoy it. You take pride in it. You allow yourself to let the knowledge of yourself and the new healthier you be your guide. You become more self aware.
It's like building a house after it's been destroyed. When the demolition and then construction is finished, you get to live there and continue making it yours .
[This message edited by unfound at 8:28 PM, August 29th (Thursday)]
Unfound – Thanks for the encouragement. I think I am becoming more self aware and healthier. I guess I need to take pride and enjoy it.
I also think I need to work on that internal dialog and to find a way to stay focused and be present in the moment. Has anyone found any useful books on self-talk and living in the moment?