Hi, this is a crazy time for you both...
Please read about the fog. I see by your profile things heated up quickly between you and a co-worker...your time frame is similar to my wifes affair. The fog was thick with her. So see where you are at with morning the loss of this relationship with the OW....be real and be honest. Not only do the lies to your wife need to stop, they need to stop within you too.
Order the book How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair....read it, and apply it.
Don't ever make excuses to yourself or your wife as to why your affair happened. You will be tempted to do this...when it happens dig under the excuse and see what caused you to come up with that excuse. Figure out what is broken in you to make adultery a valid option for dealing with life. Fully accept that adultery has biblical basis for divorce, that it has caused people to react violently, and that your marriage is very much in jeopardy of ending.
Let your wife into that journey as often as you can, but don't interact with her about the affair if you are in the fog....while in the fog you will believe things to be factually correct that later you will regret so much....many times it appears marriages fail because of how the fWS acts after the affair is discovered.
Passwords to all email accounts, cell phone bills, you sharing your daily schedules (in detail) with your wife is how to show transparency.
Bring up how you are feeling about the affair even if your wife is not mentioning it. NEVER assume that she is NOT thinking about it...trust me, for the next 6 months it is going to be on her mind all the time.
That's a lot to offer to you....I am truly sorry you are both are going through this. I sincerely don't wish this trauma on anyone...WS or BS included.
Prepare for a marathon, not a sprint. My wifes affair was 4-5 months total....have been in weekly counseling for 11 months....the costs are tremendous. Insanely high compared to what she got from her short fling. So don't think that just because it was a short duration affair that the damage is any less traumatic for her.
God be with us all.
[This message edited by blakesteele at 5:30 AM, August 30th (Friday)]