You are coming up on your 1st Antiversary. Each of deals with it differently. My WH didn't know the day or even month at first. He didcatch onto the fact something was wrong and kept asking. I finally told him. He said he couldn't believe I remembered. That set me off on another tangent.
Do something special for yourself. Talk to him and tell him why you are so on edge. Hopefully he can help you through this.
I feel I have no choice in the situation.
Trusttrusttrust, you must take care of you, first and foremost, because WH's actions are no longer in your best interest.
I'm sorry you find yourself in another DDay around your 1 year anniversary. For me, when my beautiful BS even talks D, my heart sinks and I often find myself overwhelmed with remorse and grief. Maybe if your WH sees the D is a very real possibility, it will help serve to wake him up. Just seeing my poor crushed BS's emotions and pain these last few months has hit me like it never has before in all the times we've had problems. It's been so bad that we've both lost about 40lbs due to depression and anxiety and just generally not eating. I love my BS and can't believe I hurt her like this. For me, this has been the biggest wake up call that I needed to make serious changes (and make them permanent!!!). It doesn't seem like your WS has had that kind of revelation or "come to Jesus" moment within himself. I can't say what it will take, I just offer up a perspective from a FWH to say that it takes an internal drive to want to change. I hope (if its what you want) that he has that moment soon.
He started up an EA online end of Oct 2011,that I really considered a LD PA, if that makes sense. They were having virtual sex, masturbating together while having a sexual fantasy IRT with her on her bed. They told each other they loved them. Sent naked pictures of their genitals as well as lots of smiling pictures to each other.
I saw the texts because he thought I didn't know and wouldn't see them on his phone. Well, i didn't know, but there was 2 months of text there that filled me in pretty good.
He broke it off when I caught him, we had a great year of false R because HE was still thinking of her and wanted to just "see how she was doing" so reconnected with he the following end of Oct, 2012.
So, we have been married 34 years and I feel like I am too old and deserve so much better than to be dealing with this crap and now we are almost to that time of year again.
He'd better not be so stupid as to not know how I will be feeling on Halloween this year.
2 grown sons, 1 grown step-son
Last DDay, March 19, 2013 after a few weeks of TT- trying to have a new marriage after almost 35 years.
No more chances.