Well of course you feel like you are still at the beginning, because you are. Nothing has been done to repair your marriage, and he certainly was happy to let it all just quietly go away.
The question is what now? I say if you are unhappy with the current situation you need to change it, with or without him. First of all allowing him to get away with what he did because you weren't sexual enough is BS. You do know that right?
He is broken, and has done nothing to hold himself accountable or work of figuring out why he thinks/thought it was acceptable for him to go outside the M.
You should NOT feel guilty for anything. You can hold your head high knowing that you gave him the greatest gift, and that is that chance to R. However it sounds like perhaps the expecations of what that should be were never really drawn out, or he wasn't held to them if they were.
I would start there. You need to sit down with him, and tell him hey, this is where I'm at right now. Very factually that you feel like nothing has been done to fix the problem, and that you have expectations of him in doing so. Outline what those are, and tell him if he chooses to not do anything to change, then you cannot stay in the relationship, and will seek a D.
Life is short, sometimes surpisingly so, don't spend it miserable. You are in control of your destiny, you get to decide how things go. Read up in the healing library. Start slow.
For some of us, the pain of Dday, and trying to R is too much to deal with, and the rugsweeping occurs.
Also with the behavior you describe, that stuff doesn't usually just stop. You probably need to do some invetigating.
keep posting, keep asking questions, and we will keep supporting.