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Did the nightmares stop after divorce?

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Paperclip posted 8/30/2013 09:25 AM

Hi all, I'm in reconciliation, WH's in therapy, he's finally doing things right. Or more right. I still feel like I'm in limbo, but that's whole other story.

Anyway...I am still having infidelity nightmares, which have increased lately. Some are ridiculous, some are so terrifying. Last night's involved me finding out about more infidelity and him laughing while I cried.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD which complicates things further!

Wondering if divorce or separation helped the nightmares. I can't stand this level of anxiety anymore. I do okay during the days, but the nights have been hellish lately.

Thanks!

nowiknow23 posted 8/30/2013 09:30 AM

I don't know that D/S itself did anything for the trauma. The time and effort I put into myself with IC, self-care, and focusing forward absolutely did, however.

Are you getting treatment for the PTSD, honey?

(((((Paperclip)))))

PowerGlo posted 8/30/2013 09:36 AM

Hi PC - Glad to hear you are trying to reconcile. Sorry to hear you are still having nightmares and suffer from PTSD. I too suffer from both and tried to reconcile for over a year but my STBXWW just couldn't stop her wayward behavior. I had no choice but to file for divorce and seperate. I can honestly say the nightmares and thoughts have not gone away. I am still haunted by visions. One thing I was able to do to help alleviate the nightmares was to get a sleeping aid(I take trazedone) from your doctor. There are times where I can make it through a night without any dreams at all. Good luck to you PC and I am sorry you are in this situation.

SeanFLA posted 8/30/2013 09:47 AM

Funny because I had a terrible nightmare just the other night about exWW. One of those nightmares where you "feel" it after you wake up until about noon. I'm a year and a half out from D and 2.5 years from Dday and still get them on occasion. I believe it's just my mind working through the trauma still. Not sure what you can really do about them.

kernel posted 8/30/2013 20:31 PM

I'm three years out from the divorce, and the nightmares are mostly gone. I still have one occasionally, and they are still upsetting but not like they used to be. I'll feel unsettled for a couple hours in the morning, but then it's gone.

PC, I hope you are getting help for the PTSD.

h0peless posted 8/30/2013 20:35 PM

A shitload of therapy and working on myself mostly stopped the nightmares. I don't think it was the separation or the divorce that did it.

Nature_Girl posted 8/30/2013 20:45 PM

I've traded one kind of nightmares (about STBX) for another (STBX hurting the kids). I don't suppose getting the divorce finalized will change that.

inconnu posted 8/30/2013 21:17 PM

I still have weird dreams, but they are no longer divorce or infidelity specific. They're just...weird, like me.

I had exH dreams during the divorce, and after the divorce was final. During false R, however, I had infidelity related nightmares, including one where I bashed in OW's head on a metal support beam. I also had PTSD symptoms, although I didn't bother getting a diagnosis. For the most part, those went away when ex went away. He was definitely a trigger for me.

hurtbs posted 8/30/2013 22:14 PM

If I'm under a lot of stress sometimes I still get them. But they don't jar me like they once did and they're not omnipresent.

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