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Newest Member: NumbEmptySad (61504)

User Topic: Did the nightmares stop after divorce?
♀ 27192
Member # 27192
Default  Posted: 9:25 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi all, I'm in reconciliation, WH's in therapy, he's finally doing things right. Or more right. I still feel like I'm in limbo, but that's whole other story.

Anyway...I am still having infidelity nightmares, which have increased lately. Some are ridiculous, some are so terrifying. Last night's involved me finding out about more infidelity and him laughing while I cried.

I've been diagnosed with PTSD which complicates things further!

Wondering if divorce or separation helped the nightmares. I can't stand this level of anxiety anymore. I do okay during the days, but the nights have been hellish lately.


Posts: 845 | Registered: Jan 2010
♀ 33226
Member # 33226
Default  Posted: 9:30 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know that D/S itself did anything for the trauma. The time and effort I put into myself with IC, self-care, and focusing forward absolutely did, however.

Are you getting treatment for the PTSD, honey?


You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

Posts: 40247 | Registered: Aug 2011
♂ 34132
Member # 34132
Default  Posted: 9:36 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi PC - Glad to hear you are trying to reconcile. Sorry to hear you are still having nightmares and suffer from PTSD. I too suffer from both and tried to reconcile for over a year but my STBXWW just couldn't stop her wayward behavior. I had no choice but to file for divorce and seperate. I can honestly say the nightmares and thoughts have not gone away. I am still haunted by visions. One thing I was able to do to help alleviate the nightmares was to get a sleeping aid(I take trazedone) from your doctor. There are times where I can make it through a night without any dreams at all. Good luck to you PC and I am sorry you are in this situation.

Married 27 years...
DDay #1 11/11/11 - AFF profile with 10-15 boy toys.
DDay #2 1/13/2012 - still at it with the AFF boys.
1/17/2014 - Divorced
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

Posts: 159 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: NW Indiana
♂ 32380
Member # 32380
Default  Posted: 9:47 AM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Funny because I had a terrible nightmare just the other night about exWW. One of those nightmares where you "feel" it after you wake up until about noon. I'm a year and a half out from D and 2.5 years from Dday and still get them on occasion. I believe it's just my mind working through the trauma still. Not sure what you can really do about them.

BS(me) 50
WW 49
1 son 17 yrs old
Married 18 yrs, together 21 yrs

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." ~ Bob Marley

Posts: 1636 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: Zombie Land
♀ 27035
Member # 27035
Default  Posted: 8:31 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm three years out from the divorce, and the nightmares are mostly gone. I still have one occasionally, and they are still upsetting but not like they used to be. I'll feel unsettled for a couple hours in the morning, but then it's gone.

PC, I hope you are getting help for the PTSD.

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

Posts: 5379 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Midwest
♂ 36697
Member # 36697
Default  Posted: 8:35 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A shitload of therapy and working on myself mostly stopped the nightmares. I don't think it was the separation or the divorce that did it.

Posts: 2969 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: Baja Arizona
♀ 32554
Member # 32554
Default  Posted: 8:45 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I've traded one kind of nightmares (about STBX) for another (STBX hurting the kids). I don't suppose getting the divorce finalized will change that.

Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!

Posts: 10722 | Registered: Jun 2011 | From: USA
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 9:17 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I still have weird dreams, but they are no longer divorce or infidelity specific. They're just...weird, like me.

I had exH dreams during the divorce, and after the divorce was final. During false R, however, I had infidelity related nightmares, including one where I bashed in OW's head on a metal support beam. I also had PTSD symptoms, although I didn't bother getting a diagnosis. For the most part, those went away when ex went away. He was definitely a trigger for me.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

Posts: 13030 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
♀ 10866
Member # 10866
Default  Posted: 10:14 PM, August 30th (Friday), 2013View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If I'm under a lot of stress sometimes I still get them. But they don't jar me like they once did and they're not omnipresent.

DDays 2006, and then numerous more
Divorced 2012

"In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate." - Asimov
"Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you." - Ovid

Posts: 15607 | Registered: Jun 2006
Topic Posts: 9

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