My WH's 2yr EA/PA started with Facebook chats with a long lost HS friend. They never dated in HS and weren't great friends but somehow sparks flew on the keyboard and before you know it he was flying across the country for sex week-ends...
This week I had a guy friend from HS "find" me on FB. We never dated, weren't best friends. He sent a lot of messages about how great I look now, how I am one of his favorite people, that he misses me. (????)
I showed these to WH, asked if he wanted me to defriend this guy. WH thinks I'm jumping the gun but it looks so much like how his affair started that I can't help but compare...but here are the differences:
The AP is an ugly loser. She is fat and feels sorry for herself with her stupid gopher job and said her husband ignored her. She used her HS kids to drive her home from bars when she was drunk and spent hours a day on the phone with my WH while she described what she was doing locked in her bathroom with a vibrator.
My friend from HS is impressive. He overcame some great obstacles (group home, poverty) to attend an impressive engineering school and to form his own company. His wife left him years ago with two kids to raise. Other women would probably consider him handsome ( I think he looks like my HS friend)
What's the difference? Certainly my temptor ( if that's what he is?) beats WH's loser AP by a mile. Mostly b/c he's not married (although he knows I am, so maybe the gap isn't so wide in that respect), but in every other aspect as well. The difference is in the tempted. WH was. I'm simply not. A young, clean shaven Steve McQueen could send me suggestive messages on FB and I'd think he was gross for soliciting a married woman.
Maybe that is an illustration of how it is more about the WS and less about the BS.