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Phoenix9572 posted 8/30/2013 14:38 PM

Today I sat down and started a list of all the things that I am not going to miss about my STBxH. I was hoping that by taking some time to focus on all the things I did NOT love about him would help me to let go some of the feelings I still have for him.
Anyone else do this and dare we share the lists here?

nowiknow23 posted 8/30/2013 14:50 PM

From time to time, we've had people posts "things I won't miss about X" threads. They are usually therapeutic, and ALWAYS hilarious.

As long as there's nothing that personally identifies the X, go for it.

Housefulloflove posted 8/30/2013 14:57 PM

A complete list would take a LONG time.

I've shared some of the more ridiculous on a couple of the posts nowiknow23 mentioned.

Phoenix9572 posted 8/30/2013 15:06 PM

Here's what I started so far:

Things I won't miss:
snoring
farting
missing the toilet
lying to me
cheating on me
bullying me
unsatisfactory sex
bad temper
having to take 2-3 craps in the morning and stinking up every bathroom on the main floor
listening to him brag about how people would be talking about him and something he did
matchy-matchy
hogging the bed and covers
same lame jokes time after time
his wardrobe at home only being team sports shirts
saying he can't wear red with blue jeans
the stupid white tan line on the side of his big head from his sunglasses
hurtful things he would say to me
being stuck in the 70s for music
his OCD about his car
his belches when he would get up from the table or the couch
the way he blows his nose.

Sparkles posted 8/30/2013 18:49 PM

I've thought of a few things I won't miss:

listening to him blathering on about conspiracy theories.

listening to him whining about the kids.

having to come up with theories about why he's so great and correct about everything and why certain other people don't appreciate his talents.

waiting around to schedule appts and vacations because he's so important and busy.

feeling awkward when we first meet people because, well, he's awkward.

trimming of ear hairs.

listening to him snoring all night.

Hey! This feels good!

alphakitte posted 8/30/2013 20:48 PM

smacking his lips when he eats

adultery and the attitude of entitlement

mof2 posted 8/30/2013 21:01 PM

Lol...my therapist told me to do this.

The gambling.
The flirting with other women on Facebook.
Having to "check up" on him because of all his shadiness.
All his clothes he bought that took up his half of the closet, the laundry room, the hall closets.
All the gadgets he constantly had to buy because he always had a constant void.
Starting a project and not finishing.
The laziness.
The constant "jerking" when he was sleeping.
Watching him lick his finger and dig into his huge belly button to get lint out. (seriously ewwww).
Falling asleep in ANY movie we watched.
Having to explain the plots of any movie that was any deeper than "Dumb and Dumber".
Having to explain what words meant.
Endless time in the bathroom because of constant constipation.
ALWAYS the last one out the door. "I'll be ready in 5 minutes". Finally 20 minutes later.
The normal, boring sex position. Always on his side so he didn't have to work too hard.

Phoenix1 posted 8/30/2013 22:01 PM

I have a lot of the same ones as others, i.e., the snoring that forced me to use ear plugs, the same old lame jokes, the constant farting (the most gascious person I have ever known!), etc., but here are some others that top a very long list:

* the lip smacking when he eats (which just started a few years ago and drove me insane)
* his OCD about his truck
* his subconscious belief that he lives to eat rather than eating to live (food and meal times were a priority and this made it dreadful to watch my weight over the years)
* his hatred for eating alone (see above as it aligns)
* his hoarding
* his laziness
* being his personal secretary (goes back to his laziness)
* his inability to live within his means and the constant spending that has created a financial disaster
* his belief that he can buy his kids' love and affection
* his constant complaining, negative attitude about everything (extreme pessimist)
* his constant mocking and insulting comments, usually followed with a, "you know I am just joking"
* the blatant favoritism of his son over our daughters (he still doesn't think the girls have noticed)
* his extreme food pickiness and inflexibility (made meal planning a nightmare)
* his pouting when I would be reading (one of my favorite pastimes) because he was not the focus of my undivided attention
* his constant need to bother me if I just wanted to soak in the tub to relax (ruined any hope of relaxing) - goes back to the above and lack of attention
* having to get the same thing or better than anyone else (goes back to the uncontrollable spending above)
* his rigidness and stiffness (read, stick in the mud)
* the fact that his sense of humor (little as there was) did not match my own warped sense of humor and when I would find something humorous he would just have a blank look because it went right over his head
* his unwillingness to simply have fun and try to enjoy life
* and, of course, the lies, deceit, secrecy, cheating, and disrespect

[This message edited by Phoenix1 at 10:05 PM, August 30th (Friday)]

soveryweary posted 8/31/2013 14:44 PM

Even though we are in house separation, there are already many things I don't miss!! I keep away from him as much as possible.
I won't miss:
Biting my tongue to keep the peace.
His voice
His face
HIM!!!!!!

sunsetslost posted 8/31/2013 16:28 PM

I heard that is helpful. My WW is so selfish. Of course the final act of cheating shows just how selfish. I did the housework, I did the finances, she lost multiple jobs, she never asked how my day was, birthday presents maybe twice in our relationship, never an anniversary gift, Two new cars in 8 years (me, a ten year old truck). Ridiculous spending habits, no concern for the future, lazy. Took phone calls when we were out to dinner. Took my phone upgrade every year (always the latest and greatest for her). Messy. Cover stealing.

stronger08 posted 9/1/2013 03:04 AM

The lies.
The cheating.
The blaming me for all of it.

I could go on and on. But those three alone are enough for anyone to be happy being divorced.

Housefulloflove posted 9/1/2013 16:12 PM

Trying to figure out his ass backwards thinking.

His Debbie-downer attitude about anything that wasn't for and about him.

Having to anticipate him blowing large chunks of the household income on some whim. "It was on sale!" was his usual excuse. "I need this for my studio to start making money!" was the other...He spent $50,000+ on his studio (which he abandoned as effortlessly as he abandoned the marriage/family). How much has he made with that "studio"? Approximately $100 Only $49,900 and he would have been *close* to breaking even.

His feet. They could probably peel wallpaper.

The way he would initiate sex. He had 3 moves..Grab me, pout and/or make a passive aggressive comment about how I'd have sex with him more if I was more attracted to him/ he wasn't so fat/I loved him more/etc. Nothing says sexy like a grown ass man pouting and being passive aggressive!

Every single NPD trait that I thought was just him being...him. I knew I was dealing with an overgrown child but I didn't know it was a "special" type of overgrown child!