SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Sparkles posted 8/31/2013 00:55 AM

Today we found out which teachers the kids were assigned to. I have 3 kids starting 1st grade and one entering 3rd. This is the first time the triplets will be slit up. Even though it means 4 separate classrooms for me, its best for them. My second thought, after hoping the teachers were well matched to my children was wanting to tell their dad. But he doesn't care. I don't even know where he is.

I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself. This stuff is so huge to me and I thought it was to him too but its clearly not. I know if I send him an email I'll get some patronizing response as if I want him back.

This is going to be tough and its all on me. We just moved here and I only know a few people to even compare teachers with. Why is this breaking my heart. I know I'll handle it and it will be fine. I hate when this shit gets to me.

Jrazz posted 8/31/2013 02:20 AM

(((Sparkles)))

One teeny silver lining is that with allll the classrooms you will be splitting your time amongst, your hands (not to mention brain) will be full of so many logistical things that you will hopefully not have time to think about how he's dealing with this.

You are doing a great job, and your kids are so lucky to have you.

It's going to be tough but it's going to be ok. You can do this.

caregiver9000 posted 8/31/2013 11:25 AM

Silver lining: You have the widest pool of potential parents of classmates for friends/carpool buddies/can you tell us what the homework was/etc.

I would ask for a group conference soon and sit down with all four of the teachers and ask for some consideration/assistance on things like snack supply, fundraisers, field trip cost assistance, and communication.

It can be overwhelming to get the "fill out these 101 forms, have your child complete this project (which mom does most of) and sell ten items to qualify for the piece of junk prize they have every kid in the school drooling for." Also, the PTA or the school itself has funds to support families where the "extras" create hardship. I can't imagine that triplets and 3x every cost is NOT defined as a hardship! So ask.

Just getting the teachers to communicate with each other as often as possible before they communicate with you will be helpful.

I hope all of you have a wonderful year!!

Sparkles posted 8/31/2013 12:07 PM

Thank you for your responses.

I don't know why, but this particular thing just made it all hit home.

I've handled everything by myself for the last 5 months. He is still paying all the bills so that's been a blessing. It just makes me you feel so alone when you can't share important moments in your kids lives with the one other person who was supposed to care for them more than anything.

I think some of it is just more acceptance of our new reality.

Nature_Girl posted 8/31/2013 13:06 PM

Here's a tip: Have the teachers schedule your parent-teacher conferences back-to-back so you can go to the school one time and then just go from classroom to classroom, getting the meetings over with. But you have to tell the teachers way ahead of time so they can coordinate their schedule & block the time out so other parents don't grab your timeslot.