Curious though, what is his love language?
IMO, that does not negate your needs.
I still need for him to .....
I don't think you "still need" these things, because it sounds like you have never gotten them. 3 years out and I would guess your ache for them is even deeper than it was originally.
You are not wrong for wanting what you need, for desiring him to speak to you in your language. I bet if he would just speak to you 10 percent in your language, it would be enough to soothe (I say this because you have waited 3 years already, you do not sound like a demanding shrew )
I am bummed to hear he has read the 5 LL book and has not stepped up to the plate. You have to decide how long you will go this way, you cannot control him, only yourself, so you decide if you will keep on waiting or if you will draw a line (give him one more opportunity and be willing to walk if he refuses to give you this) or if you will give up this need for the sake of your M.
[This message edited by GraceisGood at 12:24 PM, August 31st (Saturday)]
I've told him this so many times, but nothing changes and it hurts me all over again when he says he will change and then he doesn't.
I can so relate, BTDT, really still there in some areas.