I don't think it had anything to do with luck for your friend. It was more likely continued work on herself and positive change.
resigned to the fact my actions will problably never allow me to have the love I had allways dreamed off. That my BS will allways feel the detachment. That he will never look at me the same. Which really is fine.
IMO, that is dangerous thinking, almost a copout. Like- he's not going to see me any differently so what's the point?
I couldn't live up to that person he saw me as.
That's okay. How about some realistic expectations for yourself? Ones like, living honestly, becoming emotionally healthy, being true to your vows, etc. Trying to live up to another's expectations of who we should be isn't healthy, but expecting certain things from ourselves is.
Has anyone else gotten to this point or felt this. Just the saddness that won't let go that seems to have is dark hand around your heart and soul. And what have you done to get out.
Yes, I have been there. What I did was woke up every day and kept fighting the fight. It takes time to get our footing back, to feel lighter again. I know it gets exhausting. Hang in there.