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I'll never understand

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mof2 posted 8/31/2013 12:43 PM

Just read an email that he sent me awhile back that I will post below and it brought tears to my eyes. I am still detached from him, but I just don't think I will ever be able to understand why he did this. I don't want him back, but I do hope that one day he regrets his decision.

I would not trade anything at all ever for the last 8 years with you/y'all. We both helped each other get thru a lot of struggles, although you helped me a lot more. And at the same time have had a for the most part a great relationship, friendship and marriage. There are just things now that I don't even know why I do them or why I feel the way I feel. I just know its not fair to keep bringing you/y'all down with my problems. I don't know what's missing but its something in my heart. Maybe God...I don't know. Maybe being alone and getting therapy or something will help me grow up and figure out what's important in life. I suck to leave y'all like this and I hate myself even more for doing it. Maybe I can figure out how to not be such a selfish person as well. I am really glad you don't hate least yet. I know this is my choice but it is hard and it is tough on everybody and I am really sad about it. I may end up regretting this one day, I realize that...I just know it is what needs to happen right now, at least in my screwed up head. I will always love you and y'all and nothing can ever change that. I may not end up ever loving myself....but just know I will or could never hate you.

Sparkles posted 8/31/2013 12:55 PM

I know you are hurting.
I don't have any words of wisdom, but hugs to you!

mof2 posted 8/31/2013 14:31 PM

Thank you Sparkles! Hugs to you! Really just need to delete the emails. They do help me realize that it wasn't me and that he just up and left me for another woman.

Saleschick posted 8/31/2013 23:03 PM

It is so good to be on this board and realize I am not alone. I have a couple similar emails I have received this summer and one just last week. My Dad recommends to delete them as well but I have not been able to bring myself to do that just yet.

trebleclef posted 8/31/2013 23:38 PM

I too, have struggled with these types of letters/emails. we are now D'd and still I got one last week telling me how he missed me and "us".

they are just another sword in the back. Really? You miss "us"? You could never "replace the time and experiences we had together?"

Um - yes you could. And did.
Quit trying to make me feel sorry for you.

newlysingle posted 8/31/2013 23:43 PM

I got one of these too. In my case, it just really pissed me off. The whole thing was him just going on and on how he really did love me when we married and we had such a great life together, blah, blah, blah. Then one day, he just fell out of love with me. He doesn't know why, but instead of telling me this he felt it gave him a green light to have an affair.

F%&k off, buddy. The whole thing was just to make himself feel better. It's like, well I told her I was sorry, so I no longer have any responsibility towards this disaster I've created. Screw him. I keep it just so I can look back and remember how much I hate him when I have those weak moments.

Saleschick posted 9/1/2013 00:05 AM

Yesterday, his mom told him she loved me and I would always be a part of the family and she would see/talk to me when ever she felt like it. He told her he loved me too. Well, why can you not get rid of your married mistress who is not willing to leave her husband yet we are officially done as a couple on Tuesday, Sept 3rd. I have had several people ask if he is bi polar (he has a brother who is) but reading all the forums, I do not think he is. He is just like so many of the other cheaters who cannot face reality and I guess wants to use me as a back up plan when things do not work out with her.

mof2 posted 9/1/2013 07:45 AM

And all of the responses from all of you is just more proof that they are bat shit crazy!!! How do people send these kind of emails and not realize that they are jacked up in the head and that they are spiraling downward? And how do these women/men they are having an affair with don't think the same thing will be done to them???

Blackhair posted 9/1/2013 08:00 AM

Well, I got a very similar situation, he told his friend that all he is into is sex or physical attraction, the girl so young, and petite, he knows he will regret it or it might not last long.

That is why he never mean to me, always want to settle in civil.

I think it is more like any addiction, they know they have a better future with the wife, but they just can not help doing it, it is just so exciting, fun, etc.

They do think with the " head" down there.

mof2 posted 9/1/2013 08:05 AM

I agree. It's boredom. They want "new" and "exciting". The problem with that is that wears off as well and you can build meaningful, loving relationships on "new" and "exciting". My H was VERY impulsive. He loved spending money. He always needed new things and they had to be the BEST. Right now he is living in a 700 square ft condo that is $1,700 + a month because he wants only the best for himself. In my case, the woman is actually older than me and not that attractive. She is just very weak and she was his prey. He jumped for a woman who could make him feel stronger and better about himself.

Eyeofthetiger posted 9/1/2013 09:45 AM

I only wish to get emails from my H. But I guess then I would wonder if he would come back.

I am struggling with this idea of divorce.

Delete the email. But you will still always have it locked in memory.

mof2 posted 9/1/2013 10:04 AM

I only wish to get emails from my H.

Eyeofthetiger, when was your Dday? You say you wish you got emails from your H, but it is actually in your best interest that you don't. If he has run, the best and hardest thing for you to do is detach from him. The email from my H was from awhile back. I saw him and we talked briefly at the beginning of August and had two emails since....and those were mainly business. Of course, I had to jab him just a tad .

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